


finely laid plans

by aMassiveDisappointment (BadOldWest)



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Anal Play, Angst, Ass Play, Blowjobs, Bodhi playing matchmaker, F/M, I'm so sorry, Multi, Oh My God, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, bisexual threesome, i can't believe I'm doing this help
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-10-07 22:55:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10371615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadOldWest/pseuds/aMassiveDisappointment
Summary: "Jyn adored Bodhi, but she absolutely hated when he was planning something.And she could tell he was.When he wasn’t looking at Cassian, he was looking at her, and when he was looking at her, he was certainly planning something."I don't know what came over me.





	1. Chapter 1

Jyn adored Bodhi, but she absolutely hated when he was  _ planning _ something. 

And she could tell he was. 

When he wasn’t looking at Cassian, he was looking at her, and when he was looking at her, he was  _ certainly planning something _ . 

Jyn was actually beginning to look forward to missions because it meant Bodhi had less time to plan things for her, which she did not appreciate. 

 

She’d underestimated how a mission being over could still be a dark thing.

K-2 usually navigated their trip home, everyone slumped and bleary-eyed in various parts of the ship. Cassian usually helped pilot, as a means of feeling in control, hovering like the mother of a group of naughty children between the controls and where they all sat. Jyn would make pointed eye contact at him, Bodhi snuggled at her side, with some kind of communication of  _ you need to sleep too _ . He’d wave a dismissive hand at her and return to the controls. Only after his back was to them did Jyn notice Bodhi was actually not asleep, but alert and watching, always watching with those shining dark eyes. 

“You need to sleep too,” Bodhi would say, and she’d begrudgingly nestle down against him, and he’d kiss her brow, and she’d realize she didn’t even notice right away because Cassian was floating somewhere in her buzzing mind. 

 

Cassian handled the cold much better than the rest of them. Jyn was stubborn, but small, so it bit into her than it did him, raised on a snowy planet and used to the chill of space. Baze and Chirrut just shrugged on their jackets and stonily ignored the cold side-by-side. For obvious reasons K-2 had no complaints about the cold. Bodhi huddled against her, eternally affectionate as always, and Jyn allowed it because she never felt like Bodhi was trying to possess her with any kind of motivated touch. He just expressed himself affectionately, especially after the interrogation he’d gotten from Saw, words were harder. 

After one mission, everyone grim and quiet while flying back to base, Cassian began his nightly check of the troops, small but mighty, as they tried to rest without going to bed. This was a gesture they made to stay together. They stayed together. 

Jyn was shivering, Bodhi trying to help with an arm tucked around her. Her jaw was tight with determination, like a captured soldier under torture. 

Cassian watched for a moment, his face drawn and grave, before vanishing to a small hold for supplies towards the back of the ship. He came back, glancing shyly up at her with something in his hands. 

Cassian draped a blanket over her shoulders. She clutched it as the ends met at her throat, nodding at him gratefully. 

“R-rest a minute,” she insisted through clenched teeth. His face was close to hers, but still reserved as he adjusted the edges of the blanket. He stroked the material, looking at his thumb moving over it instead of her. 

“Alright,” he answered gruffly, taking a seat across from her. 

Bodhi lifted the edge of the blanket up and snuggled underneath it with Jyn. 

She felt Cassian watching them from his chair, eyes cautious and face reserved, but she was very tired, and feeling Bodhi relax against her was like a sleeping drug, so they both closed their eyes and leaned their heads together long before Cassian blinked away. 

 

They all ate their meals, when they were on base, together. It wasn’t planned or synchronized. Cassian was punctual. Jyn was used to being a scavenger and her instincts violently protested against cold food when there was hot food for those who know when opportunity struck. Bodhi was used to a strict schedule from his days working for the empire. Baze and Chirrut had no excuse to hide sentimentality, but arrive about ten minutes after Jyn, Cassian, and Bodhi had found their seats together and it wasn’t questioned. K-2 often joined for seemingly no reason at all because he didn’t even eat. 

Bodhi, who was not on a mission and definitely was planning something, stole Cassian’s usually seat across from Jyn. It was there they could be opposing sides of the same coin, wryly to heatedly arguing over everything to if the food was better a month ago to whether the transmissions coming from Hoth were worth exploring. They didn’t do that on missions unless absolutely necessary, but on base everyone was a bit more relaxed, Jyn’s antagonistic nature could spring forward. 

But Bodhi slid his tray across from Jyn, and she didn’t really have a reason to protest beyond a change in routine. Her eyebrows raised, but she didn’t cease shoveling food into her mouth. 

If Cassian noted the change, he hid it. He settled his tray next to Jyn but didn’t sit down for a moment, as if asking if it was alright. 

She raised her eyebrows at him as if both he and Bodhi were being strange, and he placed himself at her side. Their arms brushed, but personal space was a relatively unknown term with them (even in moments of contention they managed to forget what the concept was).

At first Jyn thought Bodhi was trying to manage some of the arguing by making them not look directly at each other. But by midway through the meal, they were both swiveled in their seats, in each other’s faces. He straddled the bench, she sat with her legs folded under her. 

They weren’t good at verbal sparring, so usually it was the same argument slung back and forth until the other gave up. At least it was honest that way. At least credibility wasn’t questioned, or bruises prodded at. It was at least respectful. 

This time Jyn wanted to try a solo mission, Cassian rejected the notion in a meeting because she hadn’t had enough field time. There were other motivations at play, but it was back and forth. Jyn could do it, but Jyn hadn’t given the standard number of hours of experience that most soldiers were required to give. Skill vs. Seniority, an age-old battle. Usually the others would referee the sparring match, noting when someone had a point or if the other was getting too emotional, but that day they sat in silence, watching with amusement.

“It’s perfectly fair of me to give my professional opinion on this matter when it’s asked of me. If you were any other soldier-”

“You don’t want me to go because you want to be there to handle it,” Jyn spat at him.

There was an implied insult there:  _ because you don’t trust me to handle it.  _ For them that was a particularly biting topic. While he’d gotten better at revealing his emotions to her -in the moments before being frustration, trepidation, concern- his face closed off at the accusation. 

For a moment she was in awe that she could forget that this was the person she held when she thought she was going to die. Who held her back. 

But they didn’t talk about that. 

Cassian excused himself with a tight jaw, Jyn let him leave. She turned back to face forward and Bodhi was there, again with his large, pensive eyes. She always liked her friends as their audience, and even as participants, playing to Baze’s passion, Chirrut’s philosophical side, Bodhi’s gentle encouragement. If she won them over she felt she won completely, even if Cassian was right. But this fight had not been about all of them together. She had forgotten they were there. 

“I agree with Cassian,” K-2 said, his hands resting on the table because he had nothing to do with them at a meal. 

Jyn left abruptly, a hand covering her mouth.

 

Bodhi went to her room after the explosion at dinner. Other than a few mission dispatches, unless the galaxy was crumbling the rebel base wound down after dinner, with a scattered few meetings, but training and counsels were rare. Everyone was tired, lean, and couldn’t take much more than their duty required. 

Jyn was curled up in bed, but fumbled for the button to let him in. He cuddled up behind her. This was so easy. She never minded  _ his _ closeness. She didn’t understand why it was so easy to let herself be close to all their friends, being physical and open with Bodhi especially as if they were children, but not Cassian. She was so comfortable in his embrace that she scarcely noticed the knock on the door. 

“Jyn?”

She closed her eyes, groaning. Bodhi, ignoring her reaction, opened the doors for Cassian and sat up in bed, Jyn lying by his side. 

“You two need to talk.”

Cassian’s eyes snapped from Jyn to Bodhi, confusion clouding his face. He complied, taking the only chair in the room, with Jyn sitting up and looking at him cautiously over Bodhi’s shoulder. 

“Are you going to stay?” Cassian asked Bodhi carefully. He nodded, his face unreadable. Cassian sighed and turned his attention back to Jyn. 

“It’s not that I think that you can’t handle things on your own. I do happen to think you shouldn’t have to. I also have never believed in giving out privileges that have not been earned. Draven has final decision, he asked for my input, and I gave it.”

Jyn sighed. Bodhi felt the brush of her breath against his cheek. 

“You can’t be with me all of the time. Babysitting.”

“Jyn, why do you think I do this?”

Jyn crawled forward to the edge of her bed, her face snarling at him.

“Because you want to fight every part of this rebellion and don’t let anyone else do anything.”

“That is not true and you know it. I just want to fight alongside you.”

Quiet Bodhi, sweet, dark-eyed Bodhi, subtly slid Jyn onto his lap. Cassian’s neck started to turn red. 

Jyn leaned back, relaxed. She could stand to be touched by Bodhi, he had an inherent gentleness that demanded nothing from her, where Cassian seemed to want everything. 

Cassian stood.

“I should probably leave you two alone.”

“Stay,” Bodhi ordered softly, and in an almost trance-like state, Cassian complied, sitting back down. 

“Jyn, tell Cassian you want him to stay.”

Jyn shifted, her jaw tightening like she wanted to ignore the request.

“I want you to stay,” she said tightly, but only because it was true. Bodhi kissed her gently under her ear, and she melted against him again.

“Cassian, come here.”

Cassian didn’t fully stand up, he was semi-crouched as he crossed to her bed, keeping himself eye level with Jyn. 

“Give Jyn a kiss.”

Cassian nostrils flared, and Jyn stared back at him so helplessly, as if he was going to turn and run. He wouldn’t leave her, and her hesitation over whether he would took him right back to that beach. He almost wished they could be the same people they were in that moment. 

He leaned closer and brushed some of her wild hair out of her face.

“Have I not made it clear enough that I’m not leaving you? I will never do that.”

She glanced awkwardly back at Bodhi, who secured a hand to her chin and turned her back to Cassian.

“You can’t promise that,’ she said softly. 

“But I can do everything in my power to make sure you have a home.”

Bodhi was stroking her shoulders and her back. It wasn’t that they were ignoring him, they were obeying him. He was as much a part of this as they were, and it was his control that was keeping to focus off him.

Jyn stopped struggling against Cassian’s words. She went perfectly still, staring back at him with eyes that were ready but scared. 

“What do you want from me?”

He looked just as scared before he pressed his lips to hers. 

She thought would be harder, to let him. After everything they’d been through. But after the fight in the dining hall, she had only proved herself a hypocrite. They indulged in petty arguments every day because  _ they could _ now, there was time now. So why didn’t she just kiss him?

Because it was easier to be confrontational than to be vulnerable. Because she had only shown that to him when she thought she was living her last moments, and to bear that again was to go back to that. 

Cassina fell to his knees in front of them, and Bodhi gently opened both his and Jyn’s stacked legs to allow Cassian to rest between them. Jyn held Cassian tight, fingers tangled in his hair. She was surprised to notice that his hands secured around Bodhi’s back, not hers, pulling all three of them close together. But not as surprised, in fact very pleasantly so, to feel him pull away only to lean over her shoulder and kiss Bodhi as well. Jyn swung herself slightly to the side so she wouldn’t miss the sight of it, her boys kissing, nearly driving her mad with the feeling of being pinned between their two bodies. She leaned forward to kiss first Bodhi’s neck, then Cassian’s. Cassian was more response, groaning as she dragged her tongue along sensitive skin. His free hand clutched one of her thighs, and she felt him start to grind his hardness against her. She fell back onto Bodhi and moaned, who responded by dragging his hands up and down her sides. She reached down to untuck her shirt from her trousers, rucking it up her waist to feel both men touch her bare skin. They both got the hint, Bodhi easing her vest off her shoulders, Cassian, with shaking, reverent hands, lifting her shirt over her head. She struggled out of her breast band on her own.

As much as she was enjoying both of them, her instinct was to rest her half-naked body against Cassian’s chest, and they each had a twin shiver down their spines. Bodhi pulled her back to unsnap her pants, and Cassian pulled away to yank them down her legs. She placed a hand on his chest until he too shucked off his shirt, and dove forward to press himself against her. She fell against Bodhi’s solid chest once again, and turned her head to kiss him too. Cassian’s mouth as at her neck, his hands at Bodhi’s waist. 

This was easier than another begrudging truce for her and Cassian’s tempers. It was moving forward, but for every kiss with Cassian, she could give another to Bodhi, who she loved and trusted in so many different ways that it felt like they weren’t changing at all. It balanced out every step with something safe. Bodhi smiled indulgently down at her, like he knew this, and she wanted to cry in gratitude for him, especially as Cassian was grinding against her, so hard and promising. 

It was Cassian who chose to advance this, crawling onto their bed and helping Bodhi adjust Jyn so she lay on her back. She reached for both of them, and Cassian kissed her mouth as Bodhi slid his lips down her neck, eventually working his way to her chest. The feelings of a wet mouth against both her lips and her breasts was overwhelming, one hand clung to Bodhi’s hair and the other dug its nails into Cassian’s neck. He hissed appreciatively. 

“She’s beautiful, right Cassian?” Bodhi broke their silence. It was that way as if Jyn and Cassian were scared of this all ending with a word of acknowledgement. 

Cassian nodded, staring down at her. His curious fingers touched the curves of her face. This felt more intimate than his kiss had, and Jyn stared up at him, lost for words. Bodhi kept himself mostly off of her by keeping himself on elbows and knees, by Cassian lay alongside her, their bodies seeking mutual heat. 

He worked his way down, so both men had their heads hovered over her chest, each with a nipple in their mouth. Bodhi was focused, gentle tonguing that was so soft she was melting, Cassian suckled hard, trying to take focus, making her body tense against him. The warring sensations had her completely out in this power struggle, lying limp and open for them. 

After she was impossibly wet, she cupped a hand at the nape of each neck, drawing the two men to meet each other in the middle and kiss again. She moaned at the sight, freeing the hand at Cassian’s neck to stroke herself. Cassian swallowed thickly, eyes following her downward trek, until she leaned forward to whisper to him to close his eyes. He obeyed, and grabbed Bodhi’s face in his hands as his kisses grew harder. 

For once touching herself was not a furious pace to just get herself there, is was leisurely and soft to just just enjoy the sight of these two. Bodhi was gently stroking Cassian over his pants, and Cassian lost his dominant control and was again soft and pliant. Jyn kissed his neck, choosing to gang up with Bodhi against the vulnerable one. 

“You’re beautiful,” she told him, right in his ear. He groaned and rested himself against her as Bodhi leaned over him. She glanced at Bodhi, who smiled, who was so pretty with his dark eyes and long lashes and long hair that she was nearly mad with how much she adored him in that moment. 

Cassian began to open Bodhi’s shirt, who had the most clothes of all of them. Bodhi sat up against the headboard and held Jyn between his legs. He slid his hand between her thighs, her cheeks flushed and her head lulled back. It was so good, so gentle and loving. She and Cassian wouldn’t have had the patience to get her like this if they were alone. But this felt so perfect for her to take him inside. 

Cassian knelt between her legs, stroking himself until she leaned forward and took over. He almost growled in response, clinging to her thighs. Bodhi’s fingers went lighter against her, teasing, so of course she was so ready for him.

“I think she wants you, Cassian.”

“Do you want me, Jyn?” Cassian whispered, like he was asking for permission behind Bodhi’s back. He knew what they were being led to. But he didn’t want her to regret it. 

Jyn kissed him, nodding. It was the kind of kiss where she turned her head to the left and he turned his head the same way so their bodies had to curve together instead of press head-on. She needed this so badly.

Cassian leaned forward on his knees and thrust into her. She wailed, her head falling back. Bodhi cradled it as they both watched Cassian ease in and out of her. 

“You were right, Bodhi, she does want me.”

“I’m right here,” came her high pitched whine, “don’t talk about me like I’m not here.”

In that very tense moment, both men began to laugh, followed reluctantly by Jyn. Bodhi’s chuckle in her ear was infectious, and Cassian went from dominating to subdued, his head resting against her breast as he tried to hide his laughter. It felt good, in a new way, to be held by both of her boys and have them kissing her face and neck, touching her gently, laughing because they adored her. It flamed in her chest, something that felt too good for her to be able to handle and she started breathing very heavily. 

Cassian pulled away and smoothed her hair out of her face. 

“I should probably tell you, before Bodhi does, that I want you too.”

“I know,” she sighed, and Bodhi chuckled and kissed her neck, hands toying with her breasts. 

Her back fell against Bodhi’s chest, giving her nowhere else to go as Cassian drove deep inside her. Her eyes screwed shut and she arched between both men, trembling. When coherent thought returned, she rubbed her ass against Bodhi’s groin. 

“Do you wanna...?” she slurred, glancing over her shoulder at him.

He smiled and kissed her brow, shaking his head. Cassian reacted to her question with a rough growl, thrusting harder, and she writhed under him.

“Some other time,” Bodhi answered gently. 

Cassian shoulder’s relaxed after Bodhi’s response, holding Jyn’s hips in his hands and practising more control, which had Jyn back to blissful thoughtlessness. Bodhi stroked his hands up and down her sides, occasionally touching her breasts. 

Cassian watched her intently. He'd been relatively quiet, but leaned forward, kissing her temple and cheek, whispering “Is it good for you, Jyn? Please tell me this is what you needed. Am I making it good?”

Jyn felt Bodhi nod behind her, but he didn’t say anything else to encourage her, so she knew that this was something she had to say to Cassian. 

She nodded, eyes screwed shut tight, whimpering. 

When Cassian’s breath was ragged, Bodhi held one of Jyn’s thighs down to keep her open, his other hand snaking down to touch her between her legs again. She couldn’t do anything but hold on tight to Cassian. That was all she needed, Bodhi’s gentle rhythm and Cassian’s deep, controlled thrusts. Cassian took over holding her legs open and Bodhi used his free hand to cup the back of Cassian’s neck, and Jyn spiraled down between them, knowing they had her, and her rippling orgasm was the only thing keeping him in his mind as he came inside her.

At some point Cassian pulled out and rolled off of Jyn, lying beside her. Bodhi eased Jyn off of him so Cassian and Jyn could lie beside each other, tracing each others features in a state of fucked-out bliss. Cassian smiled when Jyn touched his lips, she smiled back when his thumb stroked over her cheek. Bodhi positioned himself over them, glowing in a different kind of satisfaction, kissing both of them. Hands tangled, nobody getting focus or even knowing who they were touching. It all felt so warm and safe that Jyn was shuddering, panting, whimpering at each soft sensation. Both of her boys crooned in her ears, stroking and comforting her. It had been so intense. Cassian looked a little stunned, Bodhi impressed before he gave each of them one last kiss and extracting himself from the tangle.

“Better than arguing, isn’t it?” Bodhi said as he dressed, leaving Cassian and Jyn naked in her bed, gaping at him. They were still stunned at how this happened as the door shut behind him. 

They stared at each other, not sure what to say. 

“I-” Jyn began.

His hand withdrew from its place on her cheek. 

“I should probably go too, then.” Cassian said softly, like there was nothing else to say. 

Jyn tried to mask her hurt. “Oh.”

She thrust herself up out of bed before Cassian could, gathering her clothes. She heard him sigh as she dressed, her back to him. She held herself upright in an odd way, and when her hips shifted and she winced, he nearly leapt out of bed. 

“Did I hurt you?” He had a hand around her arm, he looked terrified. Like she was so easy to break.

She withdrew from his grasp, which has been gentle and concerned. 

“I'm fine. It's been a while.”

When she turned around, arms crossed over herself, he was scrubbing his hand over his face, looking tired and defeated. 

“I understand why you think I’m inappropriate for the mission,” she swung out before he could speak of what just happened. He withdrew further into himself, because he could tell, just as it felt in the dining hall, that the mission was not what this was about.

She wondered, agonizingly, if this was what Bodhi had in mind with his master plan. 

Cassian made a weak excuse to leave, and she grabbed at it, reminding both of them that she was that eager to have him go. 

Cassian walked to his room in silence, his skin buzzing from what had happened, his chest choking and sick about how it ended. 

It was odd, after having sex with her the very first time, the way he remembered her body was not coming inside her, but holding it against his on that beach in Scarif.


	2. Chapter 2

Bodhi had somehow coaxed Jyn into a supply closet. She rolled her eyes at him, even as the door shut behind her.

“This is juvenile,” she said, still crossing the distance between them and brushing a kiss to his lips. It’s funny that they’d never kissed before that night with Cassian, three days ago, but she’d grown to enjoy making time for it. She didn’t madly lust after Bodhi, but she liked it when it was happening. She wished she could make it occupy stray thoughts, but her mind was busying trying to suppress more unpleasant ones.

Cassian’s naked skin against hers wasn’t unpleasant, but his exit certainly was.

Again, she suppressed the thought, cupping Bodhi’s face in her hands as she kissed him, sweet and a little giddily. It was the childish practice of hiding in such a stupid place and the shared game that made her joyful- until the door quickly opened and shut, like whoever entered didn’t want to be seen from the hallway.

Cassian looked pale as he glanced between them.

“Bodhi said you were looking for me.”

“Here?”

Jyn’s hands were on Bodhi’s shoulders, her annoyance burning across her features.

“I did tell him where to find us.”

Her eyes snapped to his. Again, his eternal expression; inscrutable, but kind. Full of faith. The faith that made him trust her father and defect, without the guarantee of any safety. Jyn ducked her head, resting it on his chest and groaning. Both men stood in silence, waiting for her to make the first move.

Cassian had been avoiding her, but in a strange way. All emotional engagement was missing. No worried looks, no hands on her shoulder, no understanding glances when they were both parenting their little squad of rebels. That had all been gone the past few days. But his closeness remained. She felt his presence, in a way that she knew was deliberate. He wanted her to know she was nearby, but he had also withdrawn. Resentful of being left to decipher his intentions, she didn’t even try and engage him.

And now, he seemed to want to be there, to pick up where things left off. She could do this. She could be fine with this.

Her head lifted, tossing her hair back.

“You could have told me he was coming. I would have spruced myself up a little,” she drawled sarcastically. She could be fine with this. She could.

Cassian tangled a hand in his hair, laughing as he rubbed the back of his head as though pondering what to do next. Jyn watched him, ready to have him leave again.

He shed his jacket and dropped it to the floor.

“Well I couldn’t let you two have all the fun without me.”

He shut off the light before he approached, so the only sense Jyn had of his closeness was the whisper of fabric before his body collided with hers. His lips were insistent, like he was reclaiming her. She was knocked off balance, falling against Bodhi, who held her where she was so she never regained that footing.

“I didn’t think you’d be interested anymore,” she hissed against his teeth.

“Jyn,” he purred between kisses, “You’ve never had to play dumb to win an argument. Don’t start now.”

Bodhi was undressing her as she and Cassian fought her for dominance. Someone had to balance out their tempers, otherwise this would take hours- and it already showed no signs of stopping.

 

“You seem calmer,” Chirrut observed that night at dinner. Jyn froze, fork midway to her mouth.

“And quieter.” Baze added.

“I’m hungry,” Jyn said, which wasn’t really an excuse, more of a deflection.

“I’ve picked up on a 45% decrease in your verbal participation to mealtime conversations.” K-2 chimed in.

Jyn _was_ calmer. Calmer in body, but her mind was racing. She hadn’t meant for things to go so far, but when guided to Cassian, it was like she couldn’t let go. Bodhi seemed to want them that way, and she wasn’t sure what kind of disaster he was trying to spark.

But it certainly got there when she was naked on the floor of that supply closet, riding Bodhi’s face while she sucked Cassian off. She was often caught in the memory of her hands gripping his tensed thighs, how the muscles jerked under her touch. There was no way she could talk about that with anyone. So there was no way she could get any help figuring out what any of this was supposed to mean.

“I’m just worn out.”

Bodhi nodded along, at his usual seat beside her.

Cassian was across from her, smiling down at his plate, hair covering his eyes.

She remembered that sleepy look on his face after he came all over her chest. How Cassian dropped to his knees and kissed her, even though her mouth tasted like him. How he held her hips steady for Bodhi to lick up into her, leaving her helpless, pinned between their two bodies, and tucked her face to the crook of his neck to tamp down her cries.

“Don’t get us caught,” he teased, breath in her ear, “I know you like it. You can show us just how much some other time.”

He clutched her to his chest as Bodhi finished her off, holding her until she came back down from the blissed out state they had brought her to. That time, they didn’t try and talk after it was over. They all left quietly, separately, and by the way it worked out she made sure Cassian was last. Bodhi left them strategically alone, but she waited her few minutes to follow in silence.

Cassian had rested his hand on the shelf above her head, crowding her. He didn’t speak either, but his gaze was so intense their breathing synched. She left, not because there wasn’t anything to say, but if felt like there was _everything_ to say.

“What could you possibly have been up to?” Cassian drawled across the table from her, uncharacteristically curious in her personal dealings. She could see the implied possessive statement in his eyes; _I know what you feel like around my cock, don’t try and hide these things from me._

Her foot reached across the space under the table, the sole of a hard boot landing on his thigh just enough to make him flinch.

“Has there been a verdict on your solo mission?” K-2 suggested as an excuse for her change in behavior.

Both Cassian and Jyn flinched.

“I, uh, have a meeting with Draven to discuss some possibilities after dinner.”

Cassian’s eyebrows shot up.

“I didn’t know about this.”

“I requested it. Just me and him. It’s informal.”

He nodded. Under the table, he began unlacing her boot.

Fingers skimming the delicate flesh of her ankle should not have been an overwhelming erotic experience, but Cassian managed it. The thin layer of skin over bone only needed the slide of a fingertip against it to have her whole body shifting in response. She withdrew her leg.

“Well, tell me how it goes.” He was offering, gentle and vulnerable, a way for them to move forward from this. As equals.

Bodhi’s hand settled on her knee in an encouraging squeeze.

 

Bodhi came to her room after the meeting with Draven, and they cuddled on her bed. That wasn’t uncommon, especially before this whole complication started. There are intimacies a body craves, and they both needed the reassuring affection of the two people left who knew who the real Galen Erso was.

“He’s going to be angry with me.”

He was stroking her hair, contemplative.

“Why do you feel like he’d going to be angry?”

“Because he’s always angry at me.”

“But you’ve never been afraid of that before.”

“Maybe...this time I deserve it.”

Bodhi’s eyes lit in the most subtle way, but it was signal enough that Jyn knew this what he was getting at.

“I don’t usually deserve it,” she responded defensively, to which Bodhi closed his eyes and nodded in agreement.

“But you also don’t usually feel guilty.”

“So?”

“So, talk to him.”

Jyn groaned, rolling herself on top of him.

“Don’t want to.”

He didn’t look like he judged her too much as she shucked her shirt over her head, leaning down to kiss him.

 

Cassian was still waiting to hear from Jyn, anxious about it, when he walked into his nightly debrief with Draven.

“General.”

“Captain. I’ll keep it brief. Jyn Erso agreed to let the solo Coruscant mission go to a more experienced soldier. Instead, she chose involvement in the scouting on Tatooine, on the condition she could choose who else goes with her. The council agreed that this seems a fair request and has approved. She and her partner should dispatch tomorrow morning.”

Cassian nodded once, and that was that. It still hit like a gut punch, but he’d learned to stomach those. He already knew who was going instead of him.

 

When Cassian burst into Jyn’s room, he was looking for a fight. Finding Jyn riding Bodhi, Bodhi clinging to her hips in a way that showed just how good it was, was not a satisfying second option.

Jyn swung her head around, leaping up to cover herself and launching a boot at his head.

“What is wrong with you?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about your deal with Draven?”

Jyn snuck her body under her blankets for some modesty. Bodhi was still lying on top of them, looking like he pretty much expected this turn of events, despite having his cock out and sweat beading all over his face and neck.

“‘Deal?’ You make it sound like I broke the rules. I simply compromised for a mission that better suited me and was within my rank to ask for. What’s wrong with that.”

“You never told me about any of this!”

Jyn grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head so she could get out of bed to yell at him:

“Why do you even care?!”

When Jyn got loud, really loud, Cassian got quiet.

“I often ask myself the same thing.”

His voice was like ice.

Bodhi leapt up, adjusting his clothes.

“Let’s get a drink,” Bodhi placed his hands on their shoulders, pacifying, “all three of us.”

Only Bodhi could have made this request and not gotten punched, and with both parties trying to maintain their high ground, they resentfully agreed.

 

The tents outside Echo Base had been had been reappropriated for “Morale Boosters”, off-the-books places for rebellion soldiers to get a drink and throw impromptu parties. Nothing worth getting discharged over, just a little rebellion within a rebellion. Bodhi led Jyn, holding her hand, through the night to the sound of thudding music. Cassian followed at a cautious distance.

Jyn had excused herself to her ‘fresher for a few minutes before leaving with them. She came back with eyes lined in dark shadow, both savage and refined in an odd way. She had also shed her outer layers, and while wearing her standard fitted trousers, she wore a black top suspended from her shoulders on two thin straps. Cassian couldn’t help but admire her shoulders, which he’d seen but hadn’t been _displayed_ to him before. As angry as he was, he couldn’t take his eyes off of them.  

There was a blue-lit, improvised dance floor in one ripped, massive tent. Jyn was drawn to it, the light making her glow.

“Both of you have to dance with me,” she tossed over her shoulder, and as the guiltiest party, snuck into the tent to get good and drunk.

 

Glitter was spilling from the ceiling, or at least from a bag of a drunken Bith hanging from the rafters. Jyn was caught in the shower of it. She streamed it off her body as she walked, settling at the bar and taking a shot of something violet and burning. She grimaced and smiled at the same time as it went down, grabbing a larger drink and heading for the dance floor.

She knew her boys were watching. They were, clustered at the edge of the tent, each a little concerned for his own safety from her. Jyn was dancing like a warcrime, intense and without sympathy in the way she looked so smug. She rolled her hips in time to the music, pointing at several soldiers of her rank in acknowledgement. She danced by herself, taking heavy pulls from her glass, until a hand freed it from her grasp.

She was about to get indignant, but Bodhi’s face was the one that met hers, and she relaxed.

“I think you needed this.”

Her hands went over her head as she twisted her hips in a figure eight. He took this a cue to curl his arms around her waist. She cupped a hand at the back of his neck, laughing.

“Sorry we got interrupted,” she yelled in his ear, which she had to to be heard over the music. He laughed and shook his head.

“It’s fine. There’ll be other opportunities.”

She smiled giddily at the promise. Sex with Bodhi was so _fun._ Cassian always felt like he was trying to drown her, and she would not easily consent to that kind of intensity, it made her too vulnerable.

She leaned up to kiss him, holding him as tightly as possible. He drew away, pulling her hands in front of him to control what she could touch.

“But you need to talk to Cassian. Get calmed down, unwind, have some fun. Both of you need it. But _talk to him_ before we leave tomorrow.”

Jyn grimaced, and he goosed her waist, making her laugh ticklishly. The liquor was working its chemical imbalances, and she felt wonderful. She closed her eyes, separating herself from Bodhi and melting backwards into the crowd.

 

Hands found her hips later in the evening. She was about to tell another stranger to fuck off in whatever language corresponded with the face, but Cassian’s familiar one greeted her. He looked a little unsteady on his feet, at least for him, and smelled like that first blue drink she’d downed.

“What do you want?”

“You told me I had to dance with you.”

Her responses were purely instinctive reactionary. She slung her arms around his neck, throwing her head back so she could look up at him with a sharp smile.

“I forgot.” But her arms squeezed him closer, and she was softly grinding against him.

“You and Bodhi-”

“We leave tomorrow. We’ll be back in a week. Things between us, you and me, it’s awkward. I thought you’d want space.”

Jyn was being cruel, but they were both drunk enough to get over it in the moment.

“No, you and him. You and me. I don’t know where we all fit.”

“I’m not talking about this when we’ve both been drinking.”

This was a strangely logical response, and he nodded grimly. His hands tightened on her waist, and when Bodhi’s touch was tickle-y, this made her quiver in different ways. Her thighs opened further, straddling one of his legs. He raised his eyebrows at her, but she shook her head, unable to speak as she started grinding herself against his leg. She was drunk, and it felt good, and this was how she could feel for him in the moment. He seemed to understand, lifting her leg behind one knee and hiking it over his hip to bring them flush up against each other. He rolled his pelvis against hers, making her gasp against his lips. He kissed her roughly, clinging to her lower back with his other hand. Jyn was so soft in his hands when he gave her pleasure, he wished he could find a way to make her so pliable without having to stimulate her. When she wasn't aroused because of him, she was pissed because of him.  

She fell against him, baring the nape of her neck to his lips as she pressed her cheek against his chest. He took advantage of that situation, ghosting his lips along the top of her spine to make her shiver. The electric blue glitter clung to every inch of her skin, especially those shoulders that had him so distracted. After the alcohol he’d taken to, he felt his life hung on the two very thin straps at her shoulders.

“You look like stardust,” he whispered, at this point drunk enough to say what he was thinking but sober enough to immediately regret it. She flinched, lifting her head to look up at him. He remembered the tentative happiness the memory of her father brought her as they searched for the rights files containing the plans. He tried not to think of that day, of how he was so ready to die for her, despite not being all that prepared to live with her. He’d never thought those things could be different.

She was very still, with his arms around her. He brushed his thumb along some of the glitter under her eyes, dipping it down to swipe it across her lips.

Indignantly, she raised herself on her toes, marking his mouth with the same glitter. Just a touch of it on his skin, his wet lips, was the most endearing sight she’d seen in a long time.

“Leave with me,” he asked, and when she replayed the request in her mind, she pretended he was going to take her back to her family’s farm, to another planet, somewhere far away where they could be safe together. They were drunk, and drunkenness is for the fantasy of shirked responsibilities.

“Okay,” she said.

 

Everyone on base was either at the party or asleep. Jyn was still tense on the walk to her room, Cassian keeping a chaste but possessive distance. Their touches were marked in exchanged glitter, his face and neck got the worst of it, and she was coated in it. Her skin was prickling with the knowledge of his gaze. She wanted to make him feel off-kilter, the way he made her feel.

“You got mad at me for fucking Bodhi,” she slurred, her head tilted back.

“I’m not mad you fucked Bodhi. You were clearly enjoying it. I was mad at you because of the meeting with Draven, that was just what I walked in on. In other circumstances, I like watching you...enjoy yourself.”

“Even with another man?”

Cassian grabbed her by the elbows, glancing up and down the hallway to see if anyone was coming. He bent closer to whisper.

“I trust Bodhi. I don’t mind if you toy with my jealousy with someone we trust. But if you start getting dangerous with other men, then yes, you are going to see the side of me you’re trying to get, but you won’t find you’ll like it as much as you’re picturing.”

She smirked up at him, the dark kohl on her lids magnifying their intense gaze.

“So you’re saying you won’t fuck me if you’re really jealous.”

He leaned forward, his voice a harsh whisper. She was so used to him she did forget what a terrifying foe he could be; “When I fuck you like you’re mine, I’ll fuck you so good you’ll have to beg me to stop.”

She stared up at him, a live wire and so ready, but determined not to shiver and break like he wanted. She pulled away and sauntered down the hallway a few steps.

“I thought you were trying to discourage me.”

Alone together in the hallway, he was brave enough to reach forward and slide his fingers under the strap of her tank top.

“I do have a problem with you and Bodhi.” he admitted softly. She was surprised. He’d said endlessly filthy things to her at this point. But it seemed without Bodhi to put them in their places, they were both shy of each other.

“And what is that?”

His other hand secured itself on her hip. Their bodies twisted in a flirtatious way, like they were forming a spiral around each other; hips swiveled, shoulders tilted. He bent his head to whisper, both of them crooked against each other;

“Bodhi got to taste you. I didn’t.”

She did shiver at this, but her face bore a challenge that made him shiver back.

“Well, that doesn’t sound very fair, seeing as I’ve already tasted you too.”

“My room’s closer.”

“Hope you don’t mind glitter.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

Bodhi usually cuddled up to Jyn before he touched her. He got them both relaxed. He was gentle. He was a sinew of soft sensations. Jyn liked it, liked being coaxed into the indulgence that was pleasure, after years of her only human contact being quick fucks in dark places. 

Once the doors shut behind them, Cassian showed how different he was from Bodhi. If Bodhi was like playful wrestling, Cassian’s warm-up was a fistfight. 

He had Jyn on her back and her pants peeled off so quickly she was breathless. It was overwhelming, and she didn’t have Bodhi there to absorb the shock. 

She supposed she had been only making this worse, making him want her more and more before he ever got her alone. 

Bodhi let thing proceed naturally, with no plan. 

Cassian brought her there to taste her, and he brushed his lips over hers just once before diving between her legs like a man possessed. 

She let out a high-pitched, mostly shocked sound at the feel of it. His lips sucked at her lips, getting blood circulating so her nerves fizzled like a live wire. He was  _ good _ at this, she realized with some little horror, and she was giving him more power than she’d thought she would part with. Her legs wrapped around his head, and once he gained that upper hand he licked into her cunt, deep as he could go, long and deliberate. She clung to his shoulders, bent in half to keep as much of herself as close to him as possible, but after a few more hot touches she spilled back onto the pillows. He was too good at this. Too ready. It was starting to kill her. She tried to make the sweet torture end by writhing her hips in the rhythm that usually would finish her off, but his arms banded around her hips. 

“This isn’t for you,” his voice was obsidian, charcoal, onyx. Stone-spark-slick. “It’s so I can taste you,” he whispered against her thigh, running his tongue along her skin, back up to the source of her pleasure. 

She was electric blue, glowing in the dim guide lights at the corners of his room and a haze from a refresher door opened a crack that gave just enough to her eyes to see shapes and shadows. Her skin sparkled in the faint light, glitter flicking off her face and limbs as she tensed and struggled underneath him. It felt so good, so unfairly good, that she started something she knew she couldn’t quit if she tried. So close to the start, no way to turn back, and no end in sight. 

Jyn actually screamed when his lips settled on her clit, sucking hard, fingers drawing her wetness greedily towards his mouth. She was trembling, the glitter on her skin falling like stars, catching the light and refracting it onto his skin. When he lifted his head, she saw it threaded in his hair. 

Her arms flew above her head, spreading and reaching in a revelrous, indulgent way. He locked eyes with her, enjoying the image of her writhing. It was amazing what his approval did to her, she fed on it as much as his touches. 

Having sated his need for her taste; he grew filthier, words and groans and purrs pulling from his lips as he pleasured her. How deliberately he upped the pressure building inside her, reminding her he _now_ _did_ will it to be for her pleasure. His tongue dipped back inside her and moved obscenely, her spine arched off the bed and she shrieked with need, begging and tearing up because of how much she needed it. Finally, reluctantly, she tried his name, because nothing else was working. 

“Cassian,” she was breathless, aching, under so much strain he fully believed her agony. Again, making a point of his allowance, he returned to her clit and with startling efficiency pushed her over the edge. 

Jyn kept her eyes open, because that way she could still see stars between them.

 

She regained some sense of her surroundings a few moments later, noticing Cassian was still lapping at her. It was shocking or overwhelming, just a soft tongue enjoying her taste. 

“Do you like it?” she murmured, reaching back to stroke his hair. 

She felt him nod against her. “As good as I imagined.”

Soft tremors overtook her at the thought of him picturing her this way. He chuckled, rubbing a hand along the place where it held her leg down to the mattress. It couldn’t really be called another orgasm, more a shudder of reactionary pleasure, but Cassian was pleased she still had something in her to give him. 

She pulled his hair to raise him away from the spot he practically owned at this point in the evening. It really wasn’t fair. 

Cassian rested his head on her stomach. 

Both of them were breathless, trying to find what to say. Jyn’s curiosity won the standoff.

“What did you imagine?”

She felt his face scrunch up in shame against the soft skin of her belly. 

“I sometimes think…” his breath whooshed down her torso, tangling in her legs, “on missions, you know how it gets in space, your mind wanders. I’m sorry. I know we work together, and it’s wrong of me to…”

“I don’t mind,” she blurted out. Her thumb found his temple, she felt the tenses veins under the thin skin. She stroked little circles, “I kind of like it.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Not if you don’t.”

“I-  _ oh _ .”

“Oh.”

“What do you think about?”

“You first.”

He breathed again, and her legs flinched a little at the warm air rushing down sensitive skin. 

“I just like the idea of having you in my bed. I couldn’t write it all out as one elaborate fantasy because I didn’t want to want you, so only flickers crept through. What you may sound like. Taste like. To have you hold me when I came home.”

_ To have you hold me. _

She closed her eyes. “You sound like you need that.”

He swallowed. “I do.”

She shifted underneath him. “Come here.”

First Jyn lifted the tank top off of her shoulders- he’d kept it on for personal reasons but now that image was burned in his mind he allowed it to go. She guided him with her hands as he crawled up her body, cradling his head against her chest. It took him a while to relax, but it happened all at once, his body pressing down on hers, her arms tight around him. She wondered when was the last time anyone held him the way he needed, a lover or a friend taking his weight and supporting it with a soft body. 

“What do you think about?” he whispered. 

“You being thickheaded and demanding again, and stripping me naked to get me to do what you want. We have a fight that gets out of hand. We lose control. You fuck me on the first available surface.”

“Such as?”

She took a shuddery breath, closing her eyes. It was his turn to croon encouragingly, thumbs tracing circles over available skin. 

“The last few places we had a fight,” her voice was shaky, and he rewarded her with a kiss to the base of her throat.

“Hmm,” his thumb stroked her hip thoughtfully, “vivid imagination.”

“Stranger things have happened.”

“We’ll have to try that sometime.”

She shivered at the thought of giving a future to this, whatever it was. Obviously it was showing no signs of stopping, and after this whole night, she let it roll onwards. 

“Might resolve some fights in a more favorable way…”

“Jyn,” she felt him tense against her. He lifted his head to meet her eyes, the first time they’d looked right at each other in a while. “I can trust you to handle yourself. But what can’t do, probably ever, is be happy to see you go.”

Jyn was silent and still. After a moment, she threaded her fingers in his hair. He moaned, pushing his head to meet her touch. 

“That’s fair,” she admitted. 

 

They lay like that until someone had to break the moment. It was becoming to close to meaning everything. He lifted her out of bed and carried her to the ‘fresher, steadying her on her feet as he fumbled with the controls with his free hand. Warm water flowed over their bodies, and she couldn’t let him go because her legs were so shaky. They were both, at this point, coated in glitter, and it slid off them like scales. This time he held her, her head resting on his shoulder. She got why he liked it so much. It felt good. She remembered his words again;  _ when I come home. _

It felt like she had, and she had to leave again in the morning. 

 

Cassian to woke to an empty hand finding half of the bed no longer occupied. Jyn had gone without waking him. Launching out of bed, he checked the time; Bodhi and Jyn were meant to dispatch in about a half hour. Which was just enough time, unfortunately, to think about if he should even bother saying goodbye. He dropped back onto his bed, on his thankfully clean sheets. The ones covered in glitter where in a ball on the floor, he’d had the thought to put fresh ones on the bed before putting their clean bodies back in it. 

Glancing down on his bedside, he saw a tiny holoprojector disk placed on the floor. He knew she had to have left it before she went. 

He was so angry he had to purposefully power down his mind in a way he’d only had to do for very, very tough missions. “Tough” was a light word, a filler word for words he didn’t even want to think about, and Jyn leaving him lying there in the bed they shared the night before without a breath of a goodbye was “tough” in the very same ways. 

He lay back down on his stomach, and the minute he almost got his muscles to relax he heard his door slide open.

“How’d you get the combination?” he murmured into his pillow.

A soft, familiar body draped itself over his. 

“I have my ways, when I figure out I’m about to do something really shitty to someone.”

It was strange, it couldn’t have been anyone else but her, but it wasn’t until that moment he  _ believed _ it was her. He groaned in response. 

“I thought you were leaving.”

She shifted over him, settling her weight. Her inner thighs brushed against his hips, and he closed his eyes, pretending this was how his morning started, without her leaving him first. 

“I am. I will. I’m sorry.”

“But you…?”

She threaded her fingers through his. She was layering herself over his own body, turning its language into a dialogue. 

“Couldn’t leave you like that. I don’t know why I tried. I came back to say I’m sorry. I screwed up. And goodbye.”

Still straddling him, she gently rolled him over underneath her so he’d look up at her. He had relaxed, because as angry as he was, she had fixed things before his mind went  _ really _ dark.

She combed her fingers through the hair at his temple, brushing the scalp where his skin was the thinnest over his skull. He shivered, looking at the ceiling like a soldier withstanding torture. 

“That you thought for a moment you could leave without saying goodbye…”

“I’m sure it will happen eventually. It’s how our lives are, Cassian. And I left you a message.”

“A holoprojection is not enough.”

“Do you have something you need to say?”

Her eyes were large and vulnerable, boring into his with a million questions, all of them softened by the single word  _ please. _

He was silent, contemplative, settling a hand on her hip. His eyes weren’t on her face, but boredly somewhere over her shoulder.

“Did Bodhi tell you to come back?”

Jyn stilled, her eyes going far away.

“Sometimes I need a push in the right direction.”

Cassian shifted his weight so he lay on his side, forcing her to curl up against his back. 

“If Bodhi hadn’t told you to, you never would have looked at me.”

“If Bodhi hadn’t told you to, you never would have done anything more than look.” she countered, squeezing her arms around him. “And I did look, Cassian. I looked right at you when I thought you were the last thing I’d ever see, and I was glad it was you.”

She pulled away, because the subject was too hard to deal with. They did not talk about it. They couldn’t. She had felt his body tense like a corpse against her the minute she brought it up. 

Jyn vanished. It was the only way to describe it. She was gone when he opened his eyes. 

That was her goodbye; and it throbbed in his chest every day she was gone.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enable the tools of my destruction at lyresandlasers on tumblr, also send me requests and prompts you'd like me to write.


	4. Chapter 4

Jyn had Bodhi share her bed on their ship. She tried to make it feel the same. She tried, on the nights they would rest along the way, to tangle their limbs together and feel his skin and make her thoughts leave her mind the same way they did before, when they were all three together. But it didn’t, and when she realized it wasn’t working, she would go limp underneath him, and Bodhi was too intuitive to proceed at the sight of her flopping down and giving up. 

He would brush her hair out of her eyes, and kiss her face, and cuddle her up in his arms and hold her. 

Bodhi was patient, too patient for Jyn’s taste. She knew he was waiting for her to figure it out. 

It wasn’t the same. Her body would admit it before she did. It wasn’t the same. 

 

Cassian nearly kicked the holoprojector across the room at the end of the first day she was gone. The echoes of their final argument had followed him throughout his routine. If he had dreaded what could go wrong on her mission before that happened, her leaving on such a dour note intensified the anxiety he felt about her absence.  

Cassian Andor knew the risk she was taking, because he’d taken it every day since he was six years old. He knew it, but he never  _ felt _ it like this before. 

He knew that kicking a projector wasn’t the smartest thing to do, and it only would have felt good for a moment, so he settled with slamming his fist against the wall, which wasn’t any smarter and hurt much more. 

 

Jyn’s insomnia was raging through her bloodstream, and agonizing buzz that never left her. She let Bodhi steer her around the ship, ushering her into bed at the hours she should have been sleeping, but she would always rise and wander back to the controls, finding that hours had passed when Bodhi returned to find her at the pilot’s seat, bleary-eyed and begging her to get some sleep. 

“This is just an inbetween time,” she explained. “Too much thinking. Once we’ve landed and I’m on my feet I’ll be better.”

She wondered if he watched the holoprojection. Not that it mattered anymore.

 

Three days later, he heard the dreaded words; “You’ve gotten sloppy.”

It was true, but not deserved for the occasion. He wasn’t on a mission. He’d lapsed on signing some documents and was a little unsteady on his feet. He’d had moments like that before, just not in such a tight succession. 

But still, when a fellow captain growled it at him in a hangar bay, knowing exactly why, or who, was the reason he was so out of touch, Cassian snapped. 

He received his first write-up for getting a fistfight with a fellow captain. The fellow captain received two black eyes and a weekend in the medbay. 

He decided he would frame the form, nursing his hand that he’d managed to damage even further, and give it to Jyn as a welcome home present. 

 

Bodhi touched Jyn’s cheek, her head resting on his lap, before he fiddled with the com link. Chirrut held its twin, back at base, and Bodhi made sure Jyn was fully asleep before calling home. 

“Remember when we were trying to force them together?”

“ _ You _ were trying,” Chirrut observed, “if you’d left it alone it would have occurred just the same.”

“Well now that they’re apart, she’s not doing well.”

“That brings us some trouble.”

“They fought before we left. Jyn almost didn’t say goodbye. She won’t talk about it.”

“You say that like they’ll  _ ever _ have enough time together,” Chirrut pointed out. Bodhi, despite being unseen both by distance and the abilities of the listener, nodded. “It won’t be enough even if they spend every day at each other’s hip.”

They were quiet. Jyn and Cassian’s tension, and whatever happened between them before they were all rescued, was never openly talked about. A lot of pointed looks were shot across lunch tables, Chirrut’s face usually forward but twisted in a similar expression. Baze once tried teasing them into admitting something and it led to Cassian and Jyn not speaking or even looking at each other for a week. The whole of Rogue One was feeling their growing pains together, Jyn and Cassian beings its harshest cramp. 

“I’ll pass the link on to him.” Chirrut resolute response was comforting. “You do the same for her.”

 

After their plans were finished, Bodhi placed the link on Jyn’s bedside table, and straightening her out on her bed to curl up behind her. She moaned softly, clutching his hand and bringing it between her legs.

He complied, slowly rubbing against her mound over her clothes to give her a feel for it, a craving for it. She chewed her lower lip and bucked harshly against his hand. 

“Do you wish it were him?” Bodhi whispered in her ear. She stiffened. His voice contained no judgement, no fear, no jealousy. 

“I…” She swallowed, closing her eyes. He still stroked her, easing her onward.

“I’m not unhappy that it’s you.”

“If he were here he’d be greedy for you. You two can’t get enough of each other.”

“I like when  _ you _ touch me.”

“But I’m not asking you to choose, Jyn.”

Discreetly, he picked up the com link. Chirrut was calling in for a second as a cue. He heard Cassian’s unaware voice for only a moment before it went silent, which was his indication to use it. 

“Jyn, tell me how you feel about Cassian being here with us,” he finally dipped his fingers under her waistband, sliding his fingers into her wetness. 

Pent up with frustration, Jyn growled low in her throat and writhed against him. He heard her mumble something. 

“What was that?”

On instinct, he pressed the call button in time for Jyn to moan as she came in a fit of desperation;  _ “I want Cassian here too.” _

 

Cassian stared down at the com link he found in his room like it had bitten him. He hadn’t actually heard that. That could not have been real. 

It had been awhile since her voice broke through his silent rage, and he couldn’t call back because he didn’t know what it meant, who sent it. She wasn’t speaking to him. She was obviously…

He clenched his damaged hand into a fist and then flinched. It was too swollen for that. 

The link sparked with energy in his other hand. 

“Cassian,” it was Bodhi’s voice, gentle but concerned. “I have a com link with me. Chirrut gave you yours, I’m giving mine to Jyn.”

“The matchmaking is getting out of hand,” Cassian sounded tired, defeated. 

“This was always about you two. What you saw on that beach in Scarif. How you can’t think about it. Talk to her when we get back. We land tomorrow, so it should only be another couple of days or so.”

“Bodhi…” Cassian never finished the thought. He kept hearing Jyn’s desperate, climactic cry. That night, he only had one thought, rolled through his mind like a smooth, cool stone over and over;

_ I want Jyn here too.  _

 

The end of the week, mere days before she was supposed to come home, Cassian broke and watched the projection. Numbly, he set it up to fill the small desk in his room. 

Jyn appeared, wearing that black tank top and her underwear, sitting crossed-legged on what appeared to the his ‘fresher floor. She’d clearly recorded this while he still slept, quietly and quickly. 

“You’re going to kill me,” was what she opened with. He snorted, not sure he could disagree with her. 

“You just looked happy when I woke up,” she looked down at her hands, swallowing. He forgot for a moment she wasn’t really there. 

“It’s alright,” he said with a casual level of calm. He leaned back in his chair. His words overlapped hers, and he remembered she couldn’t hear him. 

Her words rushed out. “I knew we’d argue if I woke you up before I left. We still hadn’t...I didn’t have to time to tell my side of it, I...I’m tired of us making each other upset, Cassian. I don’t want to do that to you. You don’t deserve it.”

“And we’re either arguing or we’re...and I can’t think straight when you’re touching me. I can’t…”

She glanced to the side, sighing. 

He reached a hand forward to touch her leg reassuringly. It passed straight through the projection. He missed her. 

“I’m sorry. I know I’m making this worse. We’ll talk when I come back.”

She pressed her chin to her knees. 

“I was so ready to die with you. It felt right. I sometimes wish we hadn’t been saved. I had never felt so close to anyone before that moment.”

She leaned forward, and it was almost as though she was reaching for his face. He leaned forward as well to accept the touch. The image flickered, and the Jyn that had once been there turned off the recorder, and she vanished. The room was dark without her. 

Cassian picked up the com link. 

 

Jyn lay on her small bed, trying not to think about anything. Bodhi insisted she’d be useless if she didn’t rest. She compromised by closing her eyes and doing some of the breathing exercises Chirrut had been teaching her. 

There was a hint of static by her head, and her eyes opened slightly. 

“Jyn?”

She leapt up at the sound of Cassian’s voice. 

“Yes?”

She looked around, expecting to see him. He had sounded so close. 

“Jyn, are you there?”

She remembered the com link Bodhi gave her the day before and seized it. 

“Yes,” she answered. 

“There are some things you don’t say over a holoprojection,” he informed her. 

“What about a com link?” she replied testily, not happy her vulnerable speech in his refresher in the middle of the night was getting dissected. 

“How about starting with ‘I miss you?’ That’s pretty safe.” 

She breathed out a moment. 

“I miss you.”

Abruptly, he answered; “Do you really wish you were dead?”

She nodded, and the remembered he couldn’t see her. “Yes.”

She heard him breath out heavily. “So do I.”

“Don’t you dare,” she said, her voice growing strained. 

“What?”

“Don’t you dare think like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you deserve...” she took a steadying breath. She was so grateful he couldn’t see her face. “You deserve so much more than that.”

“You said the same thing.”

“But I… that mission was the only thing I’ve done that matters. After all those years of...”

“You feel like you can’t be redeemed if you live?”

She blinked back tears. They could only speak like this, through holoprojections or com links or Bodhi. She wondered if they would ever stop needing a third party to filter their emotions. 

“Sometimes it feels that way.”

“Jyn.”

It was such a punch of a word, when he said her name. Exasperated and hurt. 

“What?” she sniffled defensively. She had not wanted to cry, and didn’t wanted him to know she was crying even more. 

Back in his room, his legs stretched out across his bed, his throat ached at the obvious sniffling sounds she was making.

“Everything you thought I deserve, I think you deserve too.”

“Okay.”

“And I was glad it was you too, there at the end. But I wanted more time. For once, Jyn, I wanted more time because of you.”

“So you  _ can _ say everything over a comm link,” she joked bleakly, laughing away her tears. 

He was quiet, contemplative. 

“Not everything.”

She shifted, realizing this conversation was tiring her out. She lay back on her bed. 

“Sounds like we have things to discuss when I get back.”

“We do. If you’ll let me.”

She snorted and rolled her eyes.

“Cassian?”

“Yes?”

“I need to go to sleep.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll leave you to it-”

“No, I…” she grimaced, too tired to back away, “You can talk to me until I fall asleep.”

He heard the need in her voice, despite how she was trying to hide it. To feel safe to the sound of his voice. He cleared his throat, because his heart felt heavy from how soft she sounded, so far away, and he wanted nothing more than to cradle her to his chest and ease her into sleep. 

“Well things on base have been boring without us fighting to keep things interesting, so I…”

She should never remember what he said next, because she eased off to sleep so readily she was forever angry at him for being such a clear solution. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST. 
> 
> Thank you all for the kind reviews, they really make it matter so much to me. I'm kind of self-conscious in this fandom, so all the feed back has really made me feel welcome.


	5. Chapter 5

Jyn had never been on the ground for an explosion in the earlier years of her life, she'd usually experienced them from the safety of a ship, or at a far enough distance away, but her involvement in the rebellion had changed that. 

Jyn would have scoffed if someone, probably K2, had reminded her that she was primarily made out of meat and that was not the strongest of substances.

It turns out her body was made of meat and meat bruised, or worse, when it was flung across an alleyway and into a wall. No matter what she believed. 

But Bodhi was yelling and there was frantic beeping, and she tried to pin her focus to the two places at once. She remembered, vaguely, that they should have been on the ship, where explosions were on the ground and very far away, but she had told him that if the rumor about the newest imperial defector was true, they had to find her first, and ignored his protests about sticking to the mission as she wove through narrow streets. And there was beeping and Bodhi was yanking her in another direction, yelling, and suddenly she was off her feet. 

But there was no denying it to the laws of gravity, or the physics of the planet she was on. So begrudgingly, Jyn conceded that K2 was right in mere milliseconds as she was lifted off her feet and launched into a brick wall. 

 

Cassian heard the news just when he had finally, finally, let himself relax and look forward her to coming home soon. Draven told him in a briefing. The timing of the scheduling was odd, not in the morning but a few hours later. The only bright side was if Chirrut or even K2 had told him, his guard would be down, but for Draven he was able to hold it together until he returned to his room.

Jyn and Bodhi’s mission was compromised by a suicide bomber. They were both in bad shape, but Jyn managed to get them back on their ship and to the next star system for the closest rebel team doing field work there to dispatch and bring them back to base. She lost consciousness right after she got them there. That team had a medic but was ill stocked for this kind of serious injury.

It was just a list of facts. He’d filled them out on reports thousands of times. Supplies: Low. Soldiers: 7. Injured: 2. No casualties. Yet. Status: Open. 

He skipped meals, because he knew no matter where he hid, no matter how early or late he arrived, they would all migrate around him. Even K2’s well-meaning  _ We told her so  _ would have broken something vital in him, because when Cassian argued with Jyn, he never wanted to be right. He just didn’t want her to be wrong. 

He knew from flight updates they were hurrying, Jyn resting off some burns and incapacitating bruising, possible broken ribs, and Bodhi an array of broken bones and some bad scarring. He’d taken the brunt of it. It seemed Bodhi’s nature to try and shield her, and Cassian pulse tripped with gratitude when he thought about that. 

He went through the next few days with a ferocity that made everyone tiptoe around him, he did his work meticulously, but roughly. He spent his night lying draped over a pillow turned lengthwise, like a human torso, hugging it to his face like he rested his brow on her sternum. He tried to hold on to the memory of that soft skin he had been held to only once, pleading that he could do it again. 

 

Jyn danced between consciousness. Her leaps back and forth were harsher and quicker earlier on, until she realized they were in the hands of rebel soldiers, people they could trust. 

“Keep me next to Bodhi,” she growled when they tried to carry her away from him. She was barely awake, and things were getting dark and fuzzy. 

She remember flickers of light, blistering burns, and being roughly pulled in one direction. And she remembered, though there were two memories that felt like this; only one of them had Cassian in her arms. 

She remembered being pulled away from him, and how she thought that was the last thing that would ever happen to them. Being separated on the beach on Scarif. 

Jyn had never been held so tightly in her life, like she wasn’t even human, like she was the rope binding him to the world, and she held him just as tightly. They didn’t know they were being rescued, and Jyn screamed like she was going to die, and Cassian screamed back, her name, as they were launched upwards by the rebel ship pulling them off the collapsing planet. She broke from his arms and wailed like the scared, abandoned child that she was, and Cassian watched her sail up into the ship, him trailing below by a few feet, still reaching up for her.

They were kept together in the medbay because anything else would have led to her clawing down the walls until she saw him again. Hazily, half-believing she was dead with all the white light, she traced her fingers along his cheek. He stared back, like he had on the beach, with his eyes open on her face, as if he risked dying while he blinked. 

After all that, they lived, and Cassian tried to meet her eyes with so much meaning and so many questions, and she couldn’t, she showed it all in how much she needed to be held by him in those last moments, how it took all of herself to fight to stay. 

Bodhi’s face looked sleepy, but there was life to a sleeping face, not a dead one, so Jyn could hope. She curled her body next to his, cradling his head. 

There was a force driving herself away, arms maybe, maybe another ship flying her away. She would not let it happen.

“Don’t separate us,” she yelled, and she felt her body being moved back to where it was, lowered to his side. She slipped her fingers through his limp ones before all went dark again. 

 

There was a knock on his door. He didn’t answer it. He heard K2 fussing as he messed with the code, and the door slid open.

Baze poked his head in the room. He held a tray of food in his hands. He walked in silently and rested it on Cassian’s desk. 

“She’s too strong,” Baze reminded him, “That if she had something to say to you, she’d fight to say it to your face.”

He remembered waking up in the medbay and finding her asleep, having snuck into his bed at some point in the night. He wove a hand into her hair, curling his arm around their bodies, like they woke up on the sand and everything was fine. 

She stirred, her eyes springing open in that defensive way she had from years on the run. 

“It’s okay,” he told her, leaning down to look over her, “We’re alive.”

He smiled, tentatively. He thought that was it, and that was everything, and it could all begin, but Jyn shivered and shied away, leaping out of bed and vanishing to her reserved bed. 

They didn’t talk about it.  They never did.

 

By the time they were rushed to the medbay back at base, it was established Bodhi had broken several bones and needed to repair a good deal of skin, so while Jyn was encouraged to get used to using her body, he was not to be moved.  _ Slowly _ , she had been encouraged to use it. Not at the pace she went. She went to see Bodhi before someone rushed her off back to bed rest. 

His face, sleepy but alive, did open its eyes when she arrived. She heaved out laughter through her tears, climbing over the railing on the side of his bed to lie down next to him. 

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. 

He smiled, “You got us out of there.”

“I got us into it.”

He struggled to managed a shrug because of the bandages. “It would have been bad if we hadn’t-”

“Shh,” she leaned her head on his shoulder, cuddling close. “We’re home. It’s going to be fine.”

“You should probably find Cassian. They had to restrain him to keep him away from you because they were worried about your heart rate if he was here, you’d get too excited.”

She rolled her eyes, chuckling. “Is everyone trying to make this sound romantic as possible to make sure I have no other option?”

Bodhi laughed his shuddery little sigh of a laugh. She grew intrigued, angling her face to further see his. 

“Why, Bodhi?”

“What?”

“Why was this so important to you?”

Bodhi flinched, because this was the first time anyone had seriously questioned his motives for dragging Cassian and Jyn together and talking them into shedding their clothes. 

“I have this...compulsion. When something is right. When two pieces fit together. When something is hanging crooked.”

“When an imperial engineer tells you to defect and fix the mess he’s made?”

Bodhi’s throat was dry, but he grunted a small acknowledgement. Jyn sighed, pressing her lips to his. 

“Has anyone ever told you that you fit too?”

He shook his head. He held himself very still, like he didn’t fully believe her. 

“Well you found all of us. You found Rogue One. You were the essential piece, and cannot be removed. Do you hear me?”

He nodded, leaning his head against hers. She threaded her fingers with his and stayed like that until he fell asleep. 

 

Jyn snuck out, though technically allowed to leave, before she had a dramatic escort to her room. K2, linked up to the tech on base more than anyone else, know of her escape from security footage in real time, and intercepted her a few hallways down from her room. She thought he was there to chastise her, be a know-it-all, tell her the likelihood that she would get someone hurt, almost killed. But instead he lowered his giant metal, offering her something to support herself on her walk, which was feeling longer and longer with the limp she had. 

“How’s Cassian?”

“His concern was not in what we knew about your situation, but what we didn’t.”

She nodded, considering this. Retrained at the medbay had seemed rather dramatic when Bodhi told her. But she supposed, since she hadn’t seen him yet, after all that buildup and missing, just knowing she was okay was not enough. 

“I guess that is kind of scary.”

“Not if you use the logical information. Your vitals tested normal within hours of arrival. All other concerns were clearly sentimental.”

“But you did miss me, didn’t you?”

“No.”

She smiled her thanks at him when they reached the door. They both knew it. Cassian hadn’t told him to do that. 

She eased her body into her bunk and slept the kind of sleep only aches and pains away from your own bed can inspire. She slept so deeply she barely registered the door opening, especially not until a warm body bent over hers. 

“Reckless,” Cassian hissed, hands skating over her body, checking for damage. He opened up her sleeping shirt, which she hazily found presumptuous, but he slid his hands over the skin that wasn’t bruised, which he’d need to see to know, so she guessed he was right, again. 

“How’dyou keep getting in here-?” She slurred before relaxing again underneath him, having deemed him not an immediate threat. He smoothed her matted hair off her forehead, kissing her brow with both reverence and condescension only he could accomplish. 

“How could you be so careless?” His lips nudged under her ear, and even with half her body swollen and uncomfortable she bent towards his caress. “I heard you both completed your mission, and  _ you _ were poking around a lead that wasn’t confirmed. Against strict orders.”

“It seemed perfectly legitimate after a week of space travel.”

His weight hovered over her, completely off of her, and she missed the feel of him, she wanted to feel it press down. She arched up and hissed, having pushed her bruised ribs into him. He pulled back further. 

“You had orders, Jyn.”

“Whose orders,” she shifted underneath him, like she hadn’t just caused herself physical pain by her last attempts to control their touch, “yours?”

Anger flickered in his eyes, but like her body, his was warring with wanting and missing and needing. He leaned forward gently and kissed her. Only there could she feel how much he wanted to yell at her, otherwise, he was controlled and gentle as possible. He cupped her face in one hand reverently, soothing it over her cheek like he was trying to lull the hurt away. It was a surprisingly maternal touch, and it sent an uncomfortable shock through her. 

“This was too familiar,” he confessed, “I hated it.”

“I don’t think I said it yet,” she reached up to touch his hair, “Hey. I’m home. I missed you.”

He let out a shuddery breath, burying his face in her neck. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. 

“Welcome home,” he replied. She held him like that for as long as she could, but the painkillers were a seductive force, and her eyes kept fluttering shut, especially since he had calmed in her arms. 

“We can fight later,” she pulled away, because it was starting to hurt physically, “I wanna rest.”

He relaxed onto his side, placing himself on the mattress next to her. She felt him shift for a moment, lifting his shirt over his head to press his bare skin to hers. It felt so impossibly nice, he didn’t really touch her for risk of hitting a bruise, but the radiating warmth made her feel better. She sighed, pressing her face to his shoulder. Dimly, she registered he was still kissing her where he could reach; her temple, her brow, her cheek, under her chin. Sleepily, she slid her lips to his, knowing she wouldn’t stay awake for it, but wanted to nod off to the feel of his mouth brushing over hers, whispering,  _ “I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so glad you’re safe.” _

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

He let her sleep like that for a while. She wasn’t sure if it was an hour or the whole night. She had a feeling when she woke he had nodded off too. But when she shifted closer, her body cooled by the dropped blood pressure, he was awake and checking on her. They stared at each other, sort of lost that she was back and they weren’t occupied with missing so much.

She said the words that she couldn’t gather earlier on: “I can’t become an exemplary soldier for you.”

He shook his head, tilting it to look at the ceiling.

“I don’t care if you were so bad you got demoted to waste management, just keep yourself alive.”

“Also can’t promise that one. You can’t keep me safe by keeping me trapped, Cassian. If I’m just here for you to take down from a shelf and play with until you put yourself in the danger you denied me, I can’t see myself staying.”

Cassian took a deep breath, and Jyn knew what she said was harsh, and cruel towards his tender hopes of a life they built together, stability.

“I understand why I can’t ask you to do that. I can’t stop you from going. But then I can’t promise to be cool and collected every time you get back.”

She reached for him, brushing her fingertips along his face. He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and sighing.

“I don’t mind as much anymore when you act like that. Once in awhile.”

“You don’t?” he stole her hand in his, kissing the soft pads of her fingers. She could tell he was calm now, having fully encroached on her body and mind.

“It’s a bit sexy,” she admitted, because she was still hazy on pain medication and sleep and could blame that should she need to later on.

He kissed her, because he was lying alongside her and not at risk for dropping his weight on top of her broken body. She laughed into the kiss at his enthusiasm, but he soldiered past it and she was happier still that he did.

“It’s a shame I’m all banged up,” she pulled her lips away from his, rolling her head to look off into the distant corners of the room, “I had the feeling if I wasn’t you would have fucked me into the mattress for disobeying your orders.”

“It’s the first thing on my list when you get better.”

“No Bodhi this time?”

His hands tightened on her. She noted that he seemed to place them only where she wasn't hurt. But she could tell she had struck a nerve.

“I'm not letting him near you.”

Jyn raised her chin and narrowed his eyes. She knew that the matters at hand weren’t settled, but this argument, once opened, would last all night and she didn’t have the energy.

“Wasn't his fault.”

“I'd skin him just for enabling you.”

“Hey,” she tangled her arms around his neck, “Don't threaten Bodhi. He's a part of this.”

Cassian’s head ducked down, brow furrowing against her collarbone.

“Is that how you want it?”

“I…”

Fed up, she thread her fingers into his hair and curled around him. This was immediately ended by her tensing and letting go, because she was still nursing a lot of bruising and hadn’t thought that through.

“Here, come here.”

Cassian was somehow ready for this. He laid her back down and eased her forward again once he crawled behind her, holding her between his legs like Bodhi did when they first fucked. She tried not to think of that.

“Are you trying to send me a message through sense memory?” she groaned, leaning back to look up at him. He smiled, a small one, and ran a hand possessively up and down her un-bruised thigh.

“Do you really want both of us equally?”

She looked away from him, her face conflicted. Cassian braced himself for her honesty, because that’s all he wanted from her.

“It’s not about equal. It’s different. It’s about you making me choose.”

He pressed his brow to her shoulder. “I’m not making you do anything Jyn, I’m just asking what you want, because otherwise you’d never tell me.”

“Do you not want what happened with the three of us to ever happen again?”

She felt him shake his head. “It doesn’t have to be that way. Bodhi’s not going anywhere. We trust him.  _ I _ …” he cleared his throat, “I liked it too. But you… I would like for you to be special to me, in ways that are different to Bodhi.”

“So...we can fuck Bodhi together, but I can’t fuck him alone?”

“There are boundaries that we could potentially set…” Cassian shifted under her, uncomfortable.

“So we just go forward with this, and let it happen as it was happening, and not question it?”

“You and I could be alone together more…” he mused, a free hand crawling its fingers up and down her neck. As skin that wasn’t throbbing with pain, it felt extra nice.

“Can I tell you something?”

“You’ll do it anyway no matter what I say,” he said, breaking the tension with the grumpiness she had grown to miss. She snuggled closer in his arms and she felt him relax a little by her comfort.

“So that explosion,” she closed her eyes when she heard him hiss, the topic not to be easily breached when he was still angry at her. “I thought about the last time I almost died. How welcome it felt, with you there. And I thought a lot if that was me, and how I was ready to go. I’m  _ not _ anymore. You weren’t with me. Even if you were, on Scarif we were on the cusp of something. Now we’ve started it, and need to see it through.”

“No more running?”

She sighed gently, already feeling caught. “Less running. I can’t promise I can stop. But I can promise I will come back.”

“How can I know for sure?”

“Trusting me, like I trust you.”

She grabbed his hand, and he hissed out a pained breath.

“What?” she gentled her grasp, but still held his wrist and guided it in front of her face for a closer look, “what happened to it?”

He pressed his face back into the curve of her neck. She barely heard his muffled, sheepish voice; “Broke it either on the wall or someone’s face. It’s been a rough week.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I thought you said it can be sexy sometimes.”

Unwilling to answer that, her lips met his as he turned to her.

 

Jyn was under Cassian, in a predicament.

She’d tried to convince him the bruising was much better, but he caught her flinching the first time he’d settled the lightest bit of weight on her. She was scared he’d pull away, deeming her too fragile but he readjusted and continued, much to her excitement. She missed him.

By the time she was able to process anything other than how good it felt, she realized he’d tied her hands to the headboard.

“Cassian,” her body struggled under him. He didn’t respond right away because he was preoccupied with her breasts, “ _ Cassian. _ ”

Her voice was frantic and he surfaced to place a comforting hand on her cheek.

“It’s so you don’t move too much and hurt yourself.”

He knew her well enough that given the chance she’d shove her bruised body against his without thinking of the pain.

“You seem proud to have a  _ very _ good reason for this.”

He yanked her pants down, smiling because he was very pleased with himself.

“Now, Sergeant Erso,” he began, his voice the clipped distinction of his rank she never heard from him in private. Hearing it now felt so forbidden, so  _ filthy. _

“Am I correct in stating that you disobeyed specific orders to return as soon as your mission was completed?”

Her hands shook against her bonds. His hands slid up her legs, interrogating skin.

“Sergeant Erso?”

“I remained after the mission was completed.”

“Without checking in with your commanding officer before acting?”

“I trust my gut.”

_ “Captain,” _ he corrected, mouth against hers, pulling away when she tried to get close.

“No excuses, Captain.”

“And you put yourself and your partner at risk?”

Her breath hissed out of her nose at that. He smoothed his hands over her hips, dipping to kiss her neck, to remind her it was a game, and it felt real because he was adapting emotions she would otherwise run from. She relaxed, submission an easier game than lifestyle.

“Yes, Captain.”

“How can I know you can still be trusted to follow orders?”

She arched her back, eyes trained straight ahead, staring at the ceiling.

“Up to you to find out, Captain.”

He pushed her legs open, drawing back down her body to nestle his shoulders between them.

“Don’t come until I tell you to, Sergeant.”

“Yes, Captain.”

She was compliant in the game, even though it did feel like torture, Cassian’s careful control back safely in his hands. It’s not as though she disliked seeing him  _ thriving _ like this. She had a soft spot for arrogant Cassian, and was wet enough for him before he even touched his lips to her core. She struggled against her restraints only out of habit, finding she enjoyed the lack of give, something to flail against as the pleasure overtook her. It was harder and harder to obey. It was shuddering overstimulation, Cassian unrelenting in making her need it.

_ “Please,”  _ escaped her lips.

“Please, what?” he barely lifted his mouth from her pussy long enough to say it.

“Please, Captain.”

Cassian pulled away, Jyn’s eyes rolling angrily at him for making a point at such a crucial moment. With a hand at her neck and another braced against her belly, he flipped her carefully onto her knees. How he managed to do so without hurting her, she was amazed.

“I didn’t permit you to come yet…”

He slid inside her without warning, but it so easy, no resistance. She was ready. She’d needed this. And the surprise made it all the better. The anxiety of separation made coming together an awkward task, so the game, once again, had enough rules to keep her from falling apart in his arms because they felt so safe. She adored Cassian in that moment, arching back to have him press further inside her.

His thrusts were shallow, she noticed his hands skimming and testing safe places to rest against or hold her body.

“You’re holding back,” she accused.

He stilled, then draped his body loosely over hers she she felt their skin together. It felt so good, it only made the lack of thrusting agonizing, and she whined in her throat for both.

“Of course I am. Do you really think I’m going to be rough with you when you have bruises all over your body? When even pressing my weight on you the wrong way is going to hurt?”

“I’m not fragile,” she protested, arching her back against his chest, trying to get more pressure.

“I know you’re not fragile, but you’re already hurt.” He smoothed his hands over her hips and down her thighs, which were corded with tense muscle.

“ _ You’re not- _ ”

He smacked a hand against her ass, which was not damaged from her tryst with an explosion. His hand smoothed over the burning skin the second she registered the pain.

“Jyn, perhaps if you trusted me, this would be easier for you.”

He thrust back into her, roughly, again making a point over eliciting pleasure. The point was made. This could be like every other lay she’d had before him. Or this could be how he’d made it before,  _ for her. _

“If you trusted me, Jyn,” he was perfectly still, only filling her to make her clench around him, wriggle for some kind of friction, for more, “you would know that I’ll make it good for you. That I’ll make you come as many times as you need. If you trusted me to take care of you, you’d be screaming for me right now.”

She tried to buck back against him, but he held her steady, a slight roll of his hips teasing the reward of that trust, but his stillness creating an agonizing juxtaposition.

“But if you don’t trust me, I guess you’re right. Your lack of faith might as well be correct. If you think it’s so likely I’ll leave you unsatisfied, maybe you’ll be proven right...”

Her hands were clenched white, gripping the belt he’d tied her with.

“Please,” she said again.

“Please, what?” he repeated, thrusting roughly into her. This one had the finesse, the roll of someone reading her body.

“Please, Captain.”

Carefully, with a rigid elbow, he reached around her hip, stroking her as he fucked her. Jyn fell forward on her elbows, spine arched and extended and buried her face in the pillow.

He chuckled, and leaned down and whispered the desired words; “You have my permission.”

Jyn had a downward spiral of an orgasm, screaming, shaking, hands unable to clutch at anything despite the need to hold on. He purred in her ear, praising how good she was for him, and with a twisting shame she realized how much she liked it.

Cassian flipped her, again, very gently, onto her back and held himself over her, untying her and massaging her wrists to encourage the blood to flow back properly.

She wrapped her legs around him.

“You want to be special to me?”

His already pupil-blown eyes widened. He nodded.

“You are. You know you are. If you need to hear me say it, I’m saying it. Bodhi balances me out. When I’m too much or not enough, he meets me wherever I can. And I love him for that, but I’m also  _ aware of that. _ Constantly. But you are always half of this. So if I’m not strong enough to pull my weight, I’ll fall short of you. If I’m too much, we’ll clash. But when we meet, when we’re each whole, I know why it’s so important in the first place that I be good for you, and you be good for me back.”

She waited for his answer. It took her a moment to realize he couldn’t breathe.

“Cassian?” she pulled away, trying to give him some air. He grabbed her back, kissing her so with much she could have been nothing and he could have been everything but instead it was the most of them as equals and that power surged through their kiss.

 

Jyn was troubled for the next few days. Her injuries healed at the rate for those with the  patience that Cassian had, but she didn’t. There were a few times she’d hauled him to the floor and rode him, his hands planted safely on her hips or held passively at his sides, so not to hinder her recovery. Still every morning, she woke to him lifting her shirt to check her ribcage, press little kisses to the fading blue marks, stroke an indulgent hand over her breasts.

“Do you think Bodhi ever felt genuinely wanted?”

Cassian was still underneath her, but this time she’d flipped him onto the bed before straddling him. His eyes were cloudy, as they always were when she brought up a topic unrelated to their current state. He sat up and smoothed his hands over her back comfortingly. She shuddered as that shifted the way his cock felt inside her, clinging to his shoulder.

“I wonder that too.”

“If we could go back-”

“We can’t,” he reminded, banding an arm around her back to lean her far enough away that he could look at her with his know-it-all face. “That’s not how it works.”

“ _ If we could, _ I’d want to make him feel that way. Included. With both of us.”

Cassian nodded. “How would you feel…”

His face bowed in front of hers, and she saw fear in it.

She held his head in her hands.

“Cassian?”

“I was afraid, when it first started happening. I didn’t want to initiate anything, I just felt so raw about you that I couldn’t process anything else. But I want to try…”

Jyn moaned, kissing him fiercely, “Try what?”

Her hips picked up their rotation, legs fastened in a tight squeeze around his waist.

He groaned. “You really like us together.”

“All of us,” she smoothed his hair out of his face, rocking her hips against his.

He saw from the peaceful bliss in her eyes that she’d accepted this, whatever it was, and there was no going back. Cassian finally felt relief.  

 

The next morning, they visited Bodhi together after breakfast. They sagged tiredly against each other, seated next to each other on the bench.

Baz smiled sagely at the sight of them.

“Little sister,” he observed, “It seems you two have gotten over your differences.”

“Never,” she replied with a smirk, and under the table, Cassian slid his hand down to pinch her ass.

They walked into the medbay together. Bodhi seemed to be asleep. Jyn trembled with guilt at the sight of him bandaged. Cassian slid an arm around her shoulders, kissing her temple.

“It’s going to be alright.”

Bodhi lifted himself slightly off the bed with a smug, satisfied smile. “Don't worry, I got exactly what I wanted out of this.”

Cassian’s arm around her stiffened, but Jyn couldn't help but smile at Bodhi.

“I’m glad you’re awake,” she was gentle in the way she never showed anyone except those two. She climbed onto Bodhi’s bed, stretching out beside him.

Cassian was the final person to close the distance between all three of them, taking Bodhi’s other side. With a cautious glance towards the door, he planted his lips against Bodhi’s. Jyn’s heart fluttered for a moment. She could have died happy right then and there.

“I was worried about you,” Cassian admitted, and it was obvious from how much wrestling and fighting Jyn had to do to get him to reveal any feelings, this was monumental. He reached a hand to stroke Bodhi’s cheek, and that wasn’t for Jyn to watch and derive pleasure from. She did, but that’s not why he did it.

“We want you home soon,” she added. Bodhi closed his eyes, snuggled between them, murmuring something about how that’d be nice. They waited until he fell back asleep to even dare moving.

As they walked out of the med bay, it seemed to hit both of them that their leash had been cut. There wasn’t going to be Bodhi to guide them anymore, though a recreation of those nights didn’t seem impossible, she wondered if Bodhi knew that.

 

Cassian woke to a body colliding with his. He almost threw an elbow into the mix in self-defense, but the possibility it could be Jyn gentled him long enough to confirm, and there she was, on her back on top of the covers, struggling to remove a boot. He tsked at her instead, curling his arms around her as she slid under the covers, and kissed her brow.

“How’d your disciplinary meeting go?”

“Better than yours, I can imagine. I’m disposable, so they gave me the usual breakdown. Just a lecture, which they knew I would hate the most.”

“You poor thing,” he crooned, pulling her flush up against him. She fidgeted to find a comfortable place to rest her head, which seemed to be under his chin at the moment.

“I know. They didn’t mark up my ass nearly as much as you did.”

His fingers dug into the still-tender flesh and she hissed and giggled in unison. Cassian’s grip softened, and his hands worked over the soft curves, massaging away some of the stinging pain that she had felt every time she sat down, just as he intended.

“I have good news,” she whispered, wrapping a leg around his waist.

“Hmm?” he wasn’t listening, because things couldn’t get much better than this.

She rolled him onto his back, pressing him down until he had to pay attention to regain her touch.

“What?” he surrendered, “What’s your good news?”

She leaned down and pressed her lips to his, quick and excited. So much so she raised her head before she finished what she started, to whisper; “Bodhi gets out of the Medbay tomorrow.”

Cassian’s eyes flickered with interest.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. So. We’re back to shameless smut. The next chapter… okay. I am currently flushed with shame for even writing it, as I write it. This is my least vanilla story by a long shot. So I know from most of my feedback is that you guys usually aren’t into threesomes, but this is where it gets...yeah. I’m so sorry. I’ve never written anything like this before. Someone please hold me. 
> 
> On that note, that next chapter may be the last I post of this story arc, continuing this specific relationship set-up as one shots of a series. That depends on whether you would rather have them separate or just keep it contained to post to this story. Let me know which you would prefer!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Two things:
> 
> 1\. Take note of the additions to the tags. If these aren't for you, please make a note of that  
> 2\. Several of those things listed I abhor when done badly, so if waffling about proceeding, know that I would not post it without believing I did it...classily...

Bodhi was still weak when he was released, so as much as Jyn fantasized about a full-scale seduction, Cassian urged her to hold back. Bodhi had mediated their passion and restraint before, but he’d never experienced it focused on him.

Jyn was bossier than she usually was, mostly because the focus wasn’t on her. She seemed to like being overwhelmed by them, but this time, she paced the room, predatory, watching as Cassian helped Bodhi undress with his arm in a cast. Cassian knelt on the floor, smiling reassuringly at Bodhi. She saw the way Bodhi was breathing, the way Cassian’s shoulders actually looked relaxed. She placed a hand on the wall, needing to ground herself for her next idea.

“Bodhi, you want Cassian too, don’t you?”

It was a mild tone, her temple pressing to the wall as she seemed to be considering it, like it just popped into her head and out of her mouth.

She saw him shudder, his dark eyes wide. She traced patterns on the cold metal with a bored finger.

“Jyn…” Cassian didn’t want to scare him off. He placed his hands on Bodhi’s knees, but he watched Jyn, who was pretending they weren’t both staring very intensely at her.

“I want to see it,” she admitted, “But not as much as I think you both want to do it.”

Bodhi was trembling, barely breathing. He looked down at Cassian. Cassian reached forward, cupping his cheek. His other hand popped open the button of his trousers, left it at that; a question.

Jyn’s knees went weak when Bodhi nodded.

Cassian adjusted himself from a crouch to fully on his knees. He pressed his lips to the center of Bodhi’s chest, helping him out of his trousers and underwear. Jyn bit her lip. She made no move to join them. She just wanted to watch.

It was so hard for her to just watch, a fully clothed Cassian and a naked Bodhi, Cassian’s lips working their way down. But it was worth it to watch. To not worry about her hands in the mix, her body. Not to think of herself as a moving piece as they practiced adoration.

Cassian had taken to calling her “my love” in late hours of night and early hours of morning. His lips close to her ear, his voice a rasp. Her skin flushed every time she heard him say it, a rushing tremble down her spine; but she waited to say it back. They were testing ice over a frozen lake, one cautious foot at a time, lingering and waiting to hear the cracks.

So she didn’t say it, but she stopped immediately taking him inside her after it was said; instead listening, curling closer, eventually even being able to look back in his eyes to hear it.

Bodhi whimpered as Cassian lowered his mouth onto his cock. Jyn slumped against the wall as she saw all the tension in Bodhi’s body, skin newly exposed to her, as their fucks had always been quick and efficient, seem to drop right off his shoulders. She could see the flex of muscles under his dark skin, specifically the tight drum of his torso flexing under Cassian’s palm.

And Cassian.

Cassian wasn’t just being good for her, which would merely satisfy her, Cassian was being good for her, and Bodhi, and himself.

She couldn’t help herself;

“Where did you learn to suck cock like that, Cassian?”

Cassian lifted his mouth to tongue the head of Bodhi’s shaft, chuckling darkly. Bodhi’s head fell back, his cheeks softly flushed. It was so beautiful to watch. So beautiful she almost wasn’t ready to let herself be a part of it.

“I think I can still have my secrets from you two,” his lips scarcely left Bodhi’s skin as he said it.

“If you tell us, you know we’ll reward you.”

“Don’t barter with someone already getting exactly what he wants, Jyn.”

“We can threaten to take it away.”

Turning on her, he glanced up at Bodhi before sucking the tip of his cock back into his mouth, but first said; “Bodhi, Jyn might make me stop.”

Bodhi was a breathless mess, so perfect, so good. He looked back and forth between them, helpless. He was so trusting. Jyn felt a pang of guilt.

“No I won’t,” her voice was so dry. Bodhi let out a sob of relief as Cassian took him deep into his mouth.

Cassian glanced over his shoulder at her, mouth still full, and she saw the sly smugness there. Traitor. Turning Bodhi against her, in their bed of all places.

Jyn, tired of the vantage point from one side of the room, crawled onto the bed behind Bodhi, draping her arms around his shoulders. He turned his face to her neck, whimpering. She could hear the sounds Cassian was making around his cock, filthy from their softness.

“It’s okay, my love,” she stroked Bodhi’s hair out of his face.

Cassian’s eyes shot up to hers, dark with intention. He took out his revenge on Bodhi, sucking roughly, while Jyn finally placed herself on the battleground, not just the war room. She smoothed her hands over Bodhi’s bare shoulders, crooning in his ear.

“Cassian’s taking such good care of you,” she observed; seemingly a truce. She reached a hand around Bodhi and tangled it in her captain’s hair. She guided his head, pushing him forward until he gagged a little bit, and Bodhi sank his teeth into his lower lip.

“You are ruthless,” Bodhi managed to laugh breathily in her ear, aware of the game from the start.

“Me?”

“Both of you.”

“You like it though,” Jyn teased, kissing his neck, “so much.”

“I do,” he breathed.

“Should Cassian let you come?”

She traced a finger down Cassian’s cheek, he hummed in response. Bodhi flinched.

“Yes,” he begged quietly.

“We love you, you know that?”

“I-y-yes,” his eyes were squeezed shut.

“Cassian,” she ordered by way of his name, and Cassian grabbed her hand in acknowledgement of their truce.

“Welcome home,” she whispered to Bodhi as he trembled and came in Cassian’s mouth.

 

Her boys still wanted to play with her after she rescinded control. Bodhi was maneuvered to lie comfortably on the bed before Cassian attacked her, his tongue salty from Bodhi’s spend when he forced it into her mouth. She found she liked it. Her hand fisted in his hair and she held him close. Bodhi smiled and touched Jyn’s hair sleepily as he watched them kiss.

“You two seem to be getting along.”

“Quite the contrary,” Cassian teased, his lips latching onto the curve of Jyn’s shoulder, “help me punish Jyn.”

“For what?”

“Insubordination.”

“Our Jyn? Never,” Bodhi grinned. Jyn shivered as Cassian crooned and smoothed her hair out of her face. His face was so close, there was no way to run away from his gaze.

“You’re better at obeying than I am,” she observed with a proudly raised jaw.

“Which makes it more fun when you eventually do,” he kissed her so softly, instead of hard like she anticipated, and at that she melted.

“She’s still dressed,” Bodhi observed. Jyn glared at him, half-wishing he’d go back to strange, sage-like orders for Cassian to fuck her in front of him.

Cassian slid a glove off her hand, kissing her palm.

“Relax, Jyn. Stay a while.”

She smirked in spite of herself, allowing Cassian to peel her away layer by layer until she was naked before them. Her skin was still clean and slightly pink from the long shower she took in anticipation of Bodhi’s return, Cassian teasing her with soft fingers as he took a quicker one along with her and darted off the help retrieve Bodhi. She remembered his soapy hands all over her body, brushing along the seam of her ass that made it clear he had plans for it. She had rested her weight on her forearms against the wall to give him access, kissing him as he leaned over her shoulder, fingers teasing.  

“I want you both to fuck me,” she purred. “I’ve never had you both inside. I want to feel it.”

Cassian buried his face in her neck, going very still for a moment. He always went still when she stunned him with a thought too pleasurable to not let flow fully through his mind before acting. She relished when she managed that.

“Tell us more.” Bodhi seemed to like it too.

“I want you inside me,” she stroked a hand lovingly down the side of his face, “Cassian too. I want him to fuck my ass.”

He was holding her so tightly she could barely breathe. She loved the feel of him; tense and scared by how much he was feeling in that moment.

“Would you like that, Cassian?”

She combed her fingers into his hair.

“I hate to be the killjoy, but I’m not sure I can manage much of that tonight,” Bodhi cupped both of them by the back of the neck, “But I’d love to watch Cassian get used to the idea.”

Jyn giggled. “We can do other things.”

Cassian grabbed her by the shoulders, arranging her. She knelt in front of Bodhi, who was sitting up against the headboard. It seemed the best way to allow him access to her body without putting any weight on his bad arm.

“I notice you’re excellent with working sex around physical injury,” Jyn pointed out dryly. Cassian knelt behind her, his lips under her ear, pointedly ignoring her. She felt his erection rub against her ass, and a tremor shook down her spine. He untied her wet hair, letting it fall around her shoulders.

Bodhi squeezed her bare hip. “He’s thoughtful, Jyn. I think the word you’re looking for is thoughtful.”

“Is it? I don’t-”

Cassian cupped the cheek of her ass, giving it a little slap that had her shiver and lean her chest against Bodhi’s, arching towards him. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against her darling pilot’s. She felt Cassian kiss down her spine to join his hands, nip at the rounded flesh, his hand still gripping, and then…

She reached a hand back to stop him, blindly brushing her fingers along his face.

“Cassian, don’t.”

Bodhi pulled away from their kiss, placing his hand over Cassian’s on her ass.

“What’s wrong?” Cassian kissed her hip, rubbing his hands up and down her inner thighs. Her body was so pliant, it loved everything he was doing, but her mind was shutting down, trying to get her to resist.

“I…” she squeezed her eyes shut, “you don’t have to.”

He ran his fingers along the sensitive skin where her leg joined her hip, under the soft curve of her ass. She arched into the touch.

“I want to.”

“I don’t...I don’t-” Jyn didn’t know what she wanted.

“You want my cock in your ass, but my mouth is what offends you?” Cassian teased, fingers slipping inside of her cunt for a moment, drawing out her wetness. “You can’t say the idea isn’t tempting you, my love.”

He dragged his wet fingers along her lips, which opened and accepted them for him to press her taste to her tongue. She moaned. Bodhi held her hands, crossed in front of her chest. They were pinning her from either side.

The memory of his fingers teasing her ass in the shower flooded all of her senses. One thing was certain; Cassian was confident it would be good.

“Would you let Bodhi?” Cassian didn’t sound even a bit competitive. Just curious. Bodhi looked back at her, no judgement, no shame, as always.

She could see it. She _wanted_ it.

“Yes,” she admitted. Cassian’s thumb brushed against the seam of her ass. She whimpered.

“That’s why you’re going to let Cassian do it,” Bodhi reassured her, “don’t be afraid.”

“I am not afrai-” A high pitched whimper escaped her as Cassian’s mouth moved over her.

He pulled away just as fast.

“No?” he still needed to hear it.

“I-” her head fell back. She couldn’t hide that her hips arched back to seek his mouth. “I’ll let you, if you tell me in explicit detail where you learned to suck cock so well.”

He chuckled, biting at a round cheek of her ass. She bit her lip, smiling. When she opened her eyes, Bodhi was smiling back, so proud of her.

“Anything for our girl,” Cassian promised, his tongue darting out to touch her there for the first time.

There was a sensation of suction she had never felt before and she panicked a second, but as his tongue started touching her, it didn’t feel much different than when he ate her pussy. Just...naughtier…

Jyn fell against Bodhi with a high-pitched noise. She’d thought she couldn’t be shocked by anything, especially with her two boys in her bed, but this was something she had felt before, a revelry in actual scandal. His mouth was so soft, as always, and he gave it to her good, as always. Bodhi kissed her neck tenderly, prompting a ticklish sensation that had her resisting him more than Cassian. Cassian in turn gripped her hips tighter, brought her closer, and felt deeper. She shivered, no one was pressed against her bare, exposed spine, and when Bodhi seemed to sense that straightness there, wary of vulnerability, he trailed a finger down the bony ridges. She started to tremble.

“What about you two?” she murmured, the question stuttering on her lips, “let me take care of you, Bodhi, come here.”

Blindly, she reached for him, but she felt Cassian shake his head and pull away for a moment, pressing his brow to the flesh of her ass.

“Jyn, _stand up._ ”

She couldn’t bear to disobey in that moment. Bodhi rose to his knees in front of her, knowing what Cassian was going for.

“Bodhi, I tied Jyn up a few nights ago.”

“How did she like it?” Bodhi smiled up at her, kissing her inner thigh.

“She loved it.”

“I’m right here,” she reminded them, again, not being touched as much as she wanted. She braced her arms on the low ceiling over Cassian’s bunk. Hands skated up and down her legs, and once Bodhi’s mouth settled on her, they braced her upright. Two sets of hands held her steady, Cassian at her legs and Bodhi her lower back. She needed them. She would fall without them.

It took her a shamefully quick amount of time to fall to pieces, pressing her face into her folded, braced arms, crying muffled into her skin. She peeked an eye out to the open ‘fresher door, and based on how she tilted her head, she could either see Bodhi between her thighs or Cassian on all fours, pressed obscenely behind her.

The image prolonged the pleasure until she was boneless. Sensing this, instinctual as always, Cassian raised up on his knees and caught her around the waist, lowering her down to the mattress. They swarmed her body, kissing her neck and breasts as she babbled indignant protests mixed with moans. Bodhi ran his fingers through her damp hair, pressing soft kisses to her skin. Cassian lay at her side, hands possessively on her hips. He was still remarkably clothed, despite being the most culpable in the tangle that evening. She tapped her fingers against his lips, deciding if she wanted to kiss him after. She figured he earned it. This was a side of intimacy she never thought she was going to navigate, her usual responses instinctual in a matter of fight or flight. _Do I like this? Yes; stay. No; leave._

“Good?” he asked her, verifying with close scrutiny.

She liked staying.

She pressed her lips to his. He let her lead, sensing her trepidation. The kiss was gentle and lush, their lips melding softly. It felt good, honestly, that she forgot her hesitation. His cock was straining against his pants, and she pressed herself close to him, opening her legs.

“Good,” she confirmed. Bodhi made an almost-purring sound, running his nose up and down her neck.

Jyn rolled Cassian between her and Bodhi, opening his shirt and stroking her hands up and down his chest.

“Tell me about who you learned to suck cock from,” she whispered devilishly. Bodhi’s hand slid under the waistband of his trousers. Cassian bucked, helpless, as Bodhi stroked him.

“I...I meet a lot of people in my line of work,” he murmured, his lips soft against her collarbone.

Jyn glowed with the realization that Cassian was being shy, especially as the center of attention. And of course she was ready to exploit it for all it was worth.

“You promised,” she said, brushing his hair out of his eyes. Bodhi nodded, and must have punctuated with the stroke of his hand because Cassian hissed.

“You can tell us, my love,” she kissed him indulgently, with no tension in her mouth, so soft he opened for her tongue immediately.

She had been withholding the return of phrase. She had been teasing with handing it to Bodhi first, despite feeling it for both of them. And she used it just when he was at his most vulnerable, needing to hear it.

Cassian clung to her hips, rutting against her and Bodhi’s hand. Jyn peeled his trousers down his legs, stripping him to finally be as naked as everyone else. He clenched his jaw, staring up at the ceiling.

“You meet people. You end up in a bar and have three days to kill and someone looks at you. It’s how it happened.”

“Such a Cassian way to describe it,” she said to Bodhi, peering at him over Cassian’s shoulder. Cassian groaned as her legs started to close around his hips, drawing him close, Bodhi’s hand guiding him inside her.

“I didn’t know his name.”

She stroked her nails down the arc of skin behind his ear. He shivered.

“Such a past you must have,” she wondered aloud.

“What did he look like?

Cassian tried to thrust against her, but he was pinned between their bodies. Jyn controlled the rhythm, and it was slow, conversation stimulating farther than touch.

“Blonde. Tall. Sort of noble looking.”

“You would value that,” she teased, kissing under his jaw.

“It’s why he likes you,” Bodhi chimed in, thumb swiping across her cheek.

“Hush,” she said dryly. She wiggled closer, clenching down on Cassian’s cock. He felt every little shift of himself inside, buried his face in her shoulder.

“I thought he was just some pretty thing. He was bossy.”

“I’m sensing a type here, Cassian.”

“Hush, Bodhi.”

Jyn started to roll her hips as a reward. Cassian knuckles went white as they clutched her hips.

“What did he tell you to do?”

“He had me on my knees in his room. Was rough. I didn’t really like that. It felt like he was taking too much.”

“Oh no,” Jyn sympathized, stroking her hand through his hair.

“It’s too much sometimes, with both of you.”

Bodhi and Jyn exchanged concerned glances.

“Not when we’re like this. But when you’re gone. When I’m gone. Worrying. Like I’m trying to contain an explosion.”

“We love you,” Jyn said very softly, pressing her lips to his.

He’d called her “my love” hundreds of times; soft in her ear in the morning, rough and grumbling between her shoulders as he fucked her into the mattress, wry and jovial when they were fully clothed, twisting responsibility with the pleasure of proximity. But he hadn’t said the words yet. Jyn said it first.

Her hands skated up and down his ribs “but this, this is okay? You’re okay?”

Having Jyn be the one to say it, to check, meant something. He nodded, kissing her with dark eyes, seeming to be able clear the fog of pleasure just to connect to her for a moment. He turned to kiss Bodhi, reassuring both partners.

“I’m sorry he used you like that,” Bodhi soothed, kissing Cassian shoulders.

“I liked it a little bit,” he admitted. Jyn grabbed onto his ass, pulling him flush against her. She was somewhat breathless, mixing intimacy with fucking in such a new and exciting way she only realized now she had exhausted herself.

“Someone’s fucked out, “ Bodhi observed teasingly, kissing Cassian’s neck, “I think that’s your cue, Captain.”

With an energy uncaged, Cassian rolled her onto her back. Bodhi watched with dry amusement as he drove into Jyn with punishing thrusts, regaining his control. She knew this was a part of the process in his vulnerability, and stared up at him with bright, proud eyes. She held the back of his neck, humming and even chuckling with pleasure against his body. His hand slipped down to stroke her, and against all belief, she came, light and pleasant, sighing against him.

“Go ahead,” she dared him.

Cassian gasped and exposed his throat to her. Bodhi and Jyn curled their heads together, watching his face as he came; so blissed out and beautiful. He collapsed on top of Jyn’s body, attempting to draw away but she held him tight.

“You wanted me to hold you,” she whispered fiercely, “I’m holding you.”

He relaxed in her arms, his full weight dropping limb by limb. His face pressed to her neck. Bodhi traced his fingers up and down Cassian’s spine, which made him shiver, which made _Jyn_ shiver.

“Well, that was some welcome,” Bodhi mused, kissing Jyn’s brow.

“We wanted it to be special.”

“It was,” he affirmed.

“You two would always leave me after,” Jyn whined, snuggling closer to Bodhi, “Stay with me.”

Cassian looked up at her incredulously “Does it look like I’m going anywhere?”

She laughed softly, drawing him up by his chin to kiss her. Bodhi slid his good arm under her neck, cuddling them all together.

They fell asleep like that; regardless of limbs going tingly from lack of bloodflow. They’d earned a good night’s sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, remember when this was "Not an OT3 situation"? Idk. When I started I had never, ever written many of the things that come up in this story, and at this point, this story is writing me. I am deeply ashamed. So it's just going to be threesome smut from now on. Let me know what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

Jyn liked mornings, the three of them together. Legs tangled, breath stirring skin. Warmth. Sleepy hands caressing, not knowing who for sure it was, just that she loved them. 

A jumble of multiple limbs and nerves and breath. 

The best part of morning was what it usually followed. Intense, keening pleasure. Kisses and soft words and orgasms. It was fun, lush in a way that was both terrifyingly new and somehow familiar. Waking up to remember those nights was in itself a new form of pleasure, to feel the slick between her thighs, someone's fingers skating through it as a sign that one of her boys had woken up.

The morning after she took both of them at the same time was in itself it’s own experience. The night before went perfectly, because Cassian and Bodhi had held off until they were all physically ready. Despite her weeks of whining about it, that night was a slow process: 

“How should we go about this?” 

The strap of Jyn’s top fell down her shoulder as she tilted her head to the side. She smiled; jagged, predatory, luring.  

Cassian’s palm smacked playfully against her ass, she stretched across the bed and smiled up at Bodhi, who was lazing against the headboard. They were flirting around the idea of going out first, dressed for it, but somehow locked in their current locating. The suggestion was that it might blow off some steam. No one was sure if that was a good idea, if it meant their partners lost any of that. 

She hissed at the smack and turned back to Cassian, the same smile of all edges pulling at her face. 

“How much have you taken before us?” Cassian wondered aloud, hand rubbing circles over the place of the not-very-hard hit. 

She rolled onto her back, tank top riding up her flat stomach. Bodhi smiled, lids lowered contentedly, a hand reaching out to rub the exposed skin. 

“Give me enough Corellian rum and I can take anything,” that smile was still in its place, but her eyes were less inviting. There was an encompassing desire and then there was an engulfing one. It bottomed out the black of her eyes. One that outweighed her usual humor. Awful things about her past said with a laugh to cover the darkness. 

Cassian’s brow narrowed. He crawled up her body, glancing at Bodhi with a concerned expression. 

“This is something you can’t do drunk,” he said. A firm rule. Laid out as sacred to their shared bed. 

There had been soft limits. Jyn liked pain that awakened the nerves, but not for pain’s sake. Bodhi trusted them implicitly, but didn’t like emotional unavailability. It scared him too much. Cassian had moments where he had to breathe and insist not to be touched until he got his mind back in the right place. Simple rules that did not need to be stated out loud. 

Jyn wiggled against his hand, curled around her hip, kicking her feet. 

“It helps,” she whined. 

“It helps if your partner isn’t prepping you properly.”

Her expression was distant, this kind of detached incredulity. Her lips pursed, cheeks sucked in. She had convinced herself her way worked. Bodhi caught his eye, and with a nod, lifted her to rest her back against his chest. Cassian kneeled between her knees. She glared at him. He placed a hand on her cheek. 

“It doesn’t hurt if you’re drunk. I know that. But that also means you don’t feel it when it _is_ hurting you, in the moment, and you can hurt more later.”

“We want this to be good for you Jyn, otherwise we wouldn’t be doing it.”

Cassian’s other hand joined the first, caging her face. She had to meet his eyes, still resisted as long as possible. 

“I want you to feel as much as possible. I want you to remember me inside you.” 

She was very still, staring back in his eyes. Not evading anymore. 

“I guess we’ll stay in tonight.”

Cassian leaned in to kiss her, Bodhi slanting his mouth along her bare shoulder. She dropped her weight back, relaxing into him with a giggle as they each latched onto a different side of her neck. 

She placed her hands on Cassian’s shoulders, pushing him away. “Alright. If we aren’t leaving, I refuse to let you be this clothed.”

Even as she pushed him away, she still leaned back up against Bodhi. Cassian was now standing by the bed, giving her a knowing look. She shucked off her tank top, having no need of it. Cassian watched her ribcage expand and contract with the deep breaths she was taking. She was beautiful. 

“I suppose you’re right,” he murmured, working open his belt with a sinful click. Bodhi eased her forward and she leaned her elbows on her knees, breathless, as she watched Cassian ease his jacket off his shoulders. His eyes tilted up off the floor and onto her face. A small, knowing smile formed as Bodhi shifted behind her, crawling down her body. He unbuckled her pants as Cassian’s shirt was slowly removed. She lay back, watching and feeling. Her eyes flickered back and forth. She loved Cassian’s hands, the blunt grace to them. She arched up readily for Bodhi to remove her pants, shivering at the knowing, deep look in his eyes. Her underwear followed, but with merely a look he told her to return her eyes to Cassian’s show. She glanced back only once.

Bodhi stared up at Jyn, his eyes going from lustful to mischievous. Jyn’s gaze flickered away from Cassian undressing, and her heart stammered with the pleased look on Bodhi’s face as he kissed her thigh. 

“Our Jyn has been naughty, Cassian.”

Her brain frantically scrolled through possibilities, and she hit one, a big one. Her heart dropped. 

The man between her legs took advantage of that momentary panic. Bodhi’s hot tongue worked her clit, and it was like she was drowning between the two of them, lost to pleasure, aching with shame. 

Cassian, having only gotten his shirt off, drew close, cupping her hip to turn her body towards him, as though her nakedness would provide an answer to his scrutiny. She squirmed around Bodhi’s mouth, trying to get some reprieve to be able to look back at him with a better poker face. No such luck. 

“What has our sweet girl done?”

“She snuck away on our last mission…”

Jyn’s eyes screwed shut tightly. The first mission they were allowed to go on together since Bodhi’s recovery. _Oh no. Oh no._

“And she bought some toys from the pleasure district. And she wanted to keep them secret, and not share. I followed her when she snuck away, and I saw her.”

Cassian stood at her side, his eyes like fire as the bore down on her. She couldn’t breathe when he looked her over, revelling in the flush at her cheeks. Bodhi took that opportunity to continue lapping at her. She cried out, back arching until only her shoulders and ass touched the mattress. 

“Is she trying to tell us she needs them, despite our tireless efforts,” Cassian smoothed her hair out of her face, stroking his fingertips down her neck. She stared up at him, choking on pleasure, begging with her eyes for who knows what. 

Not playing around anymore, Bodhi lifted his mouth from her only long enough to say “They’re in her pack.”

Cassian vanished from her side, Jyn was deathly quiet, trying to suppress the moans that were strangling her. She watched Cassian dig through her pack, yielding nothing. 

He glanced back at Bodhi with a raised brow.

“There’s a false bottom to the bag,” she choked out. Bodhi chuckled against her. She glared down at him, face turning red, but he squeezed her thigh reassuringly. 

Cassian didn’t need to be told twice, or even how to access the hidden items in the bag, which was more impressive. _Spy Captain. Typical._

Cassian smirked at the contents of the secret compartment; forged identification documents, a few thousand credits in emergency money, a knife,  _ sex toys. _

She closed her eyes when he lifted his hand from the bag, reappearing at her side with a compact device he could hide in the palm of his hand. A small vibrator, something she had many similar versions of at various points in her life. He pressed the corresponding buttons and it buzzed to life in his palm. He stared at it instead of her, but Jyn recognized the look at how he would sometimes stare at his cock before sliding it inside her. There was no noise but her soft whimpers at Bodhi’s tongue and the hum of the toy. He held it forward, dropping it on her taut stomach, where it twitched and buzzed in a way she felt through her whole body. Jyn’s hands gripped the headboard, not because she had to but because she  _ needed  _ to. 

Still in his other hand, a much less conspicuous item from her bag. The harness looked like any other structured accessory that was fashionable in the rebellion; holsters and belts usually secured layers. However, one could not ignore the cock secured to it, and what it was for, and the fact it had come from Jyn’s pack. 

Cassian was breathing heavily through his nose, his control of the situation clearly gone. 

“Jyn…”

“Wanted a turn,” she stuttered out. 

Cassian’s eyes were dark. She could feel that engulfing energy churning around him. 

He wanted it. 

Jyn nearly shattered from the climax Bodhi’s tongue gave her, crying out and arching and struggling to pull away. 

Over the past few weeks, she’d watched the boys take each other. Bodhi babbling the closest words he came to cursing as Cassian topped him. Cassian’s arms struggling to hold himself up as Bodhi’s cock slid into him. The desperate looks they shot her as she watched, playing with herself, trying not to make a sound and risk missing a moment of the scene in front of her. 

She wanted to take both of them. She wanted it more than anything. 

The vibrator had fallen to the cradle under her ribs, still pulsing. Cassian took it back in his hand, guiding it under the curve of her breast. Her jaw clenched. She was breathing heavily. 

“I think you spoiled Jyn’s surprise, Bodhi.”

“Bastards,” she spat out, eyes fluttering shut as Cassian touched the vibrator to her nipple. He leaned down to kiss her. His mouth was soft, doting. Like he was pouring himself into her and didn’t want any to spill. 

Bodhi was sliding his fingers inside her, collecting her wetness, teasing it against her ass. He motioned for Cassian, who handed him lubricant that he used to ease one finger inside.

Cassian turned off the vibrator, placing it to the side. When he returned to face her, the intensity in his eyes said it all. _Not this time. Soon._

“Aren’t you glad you’re sober?” he asked lightly as Jyn’s back arched and she gasped. Her ankle hooked the back of her pilot’s neck, jerking it forward in a harsh reminder;  _ I can do the same to you, a million times worse, once this is all over.  _

Cassian dropped down to a kneel, kissing her as Bodhi slid another finger in. She gave a soft sound into his mouth. He stroked her hair out of her eyes. 

“Did that hurt?”

She shook her head, moaning at the sensation. She’d taken this much from them before, pushed for a little more. She had been ready, weeks ago, to knock back a few shots and get it over with, but she’d chosen two lovers much more patient than she was. 

Bodhi teased her clit with his tongue, making her insides relax around his fingers. She marveled how they could think straight, all the steps and precautions they made not to hurt her. 

“You two must really love me, most men would have tried this on the first night they got me naked…”

Cassian chuckled, pulling her closer into his kiss.

Jyn allowed this to go on until she was burning for both of them, but mostly Bodhi, who had taken nothing for himself yet. She sat up, grabbing his long hair. Cassian, much more at ease with sharing than he was before, settled behind her, kissing her shoulders. She tucked her face into Bodhi’s neck, catching her breath. He smiled and slid his arms around her. 

“You just make me calm,” she said by way of explanation. He nodded.

“Are you ready?”

She nodded, biting his nipple just to be a pain in the ass first. 

She rolled over, both of them giving her space to adjust her position. She settled on her hands and knees, glancing over her shoulder at Cassian with a nervous look in her eyes. He finally shed his trousers. 

“Bodhi, kneel in front of her,” he ordered. 

“But I want-” Jyn protested, but he interrupted.

“I know. One step at a time.”

Bodhi shook his head at their bickering, handing Cassian the bottle of lubrication. He crawled in front of her and started stripping off the rest of his clothes. Jyn shivered at the feeling of Cassian’s fingers slicking her, prepping her. It didn’t feel as methodical as it sounded. It felt good, loving, caring. 

His hands caressed her ribcage, which made her body relax as he guided the tip in. 

That was all she need to fist the fastenings of Bodhi’s pants, ripping them open roughly. Both of her boys chuckled that  _ that _ was her response, Bodhi’s eyes flashing affectionately down on her as she worked her lips over the tip of his cock. 

“Want you both,” she finished her earlier demand, looking up at him with that jagged smile. 

“One step at a time,” Cassian said, breathless, pressing deeper. A shiver went down her spine. 

Bodhi stroked a knuckle down the arch of her nose. “You have us.”

She nipped at his finger, returning to his cock to suck as much into her mouth as she could get. Cassian halted behind her, and she savored the stretch for a moment before wondering why he stopped. He pulled out. Pressed back in. “Are you alright?” he whispered. 

“Perfect.”

“Any pain?” 

She wriggled her hips against him, smiling back at him cheekily. Bodhi hissed when she took her mouth away. 

“Nope.”

“See? And this way you can feel everything,” Cassian said, his confident spymaster face back on. His hand dipped between her legs to tease her clit. Her cunt spasmed, wanting something to grip. 

“When do I get to do this to you?” she shot back, pushing her hips back to sheath him fully. He let out a ragged moan. 

“One step at a time,” he repeated when he regained his voice. 

Jyn pushed herself up on her knees, her hands on Bodhi’s shoulders. 

“I want you both,” she whined, her thighs trembling. She pulled her pilot closer. “It never felt like this before.”

She saw the grave look in his eyes, aimed over her shoulder at Cassian’s face. 

“Gently,” She heard him barely whisper it. A strict order. Bodhi took his cock in his fist, teasing Jyn’s slick cunt with it. Getting it wet. Dipping his fingers into the lubricant just in case, stroking it into her opening. She bucked, riled up. Cassian held her steady against his chest. Bodhi guided her hands to rest on the back of Cassian’s neck, leaving her arched and open. Cassian lips attacked her throat, the curve of her shoulder, the soft spot under her ear. What had she ever done to earn these two?

She was so wet and yielding that he slid in with little problem. It was a tight fit, and Jyn was trembling immediately at the stretch inside her. She really could feel everything. Damn Cassian. If she’d had that rum she’d probably be writhing as much as she wanted to in that moment, but she was just stuck between them, feeling everything, feeling like she was going to explode. 

“Was this part of your master plan?” she turned predatory eyes to Bodhi, pushing herself onto his cock “That’d you’d both get to fuck me like this?”

He whimpered, kissing her lips so softly. Cassian rolled his hips, testing. She hissed with a tense pleasure, shoving her hips back against Bodhi.

Jyn pulled Cassian forward to kiss Bodhi over her shoulder, grinning wickedly at even the knowledge that they were, the image blurred by how close they were to her cheek. They pressed close on either side of her. Her hips rolled, controlling their pace. It was a lot of grinding and friction and gentle motion, the safest bet with two men inside her, but Jyn managed to get Cassian off first with the whispered inquiry of how it felt for him to take her ass for the first time. He trembled and sighed against her. If she’d been asked, this night would have been her getting plastered and having them fuck her raw. But instead, gentle hands caressed her, their hips rolled together, Bodhi angling to brush against her clit, Cassian's hands on her breasts. It was like they knew something about her body that she didn’t. 

Jyn’s head fell forward onto Bodhi's shoulder, clinging to his upper arms. She whined for Cassian to stay inside her when he tried to withdraw. 

“Just 'til I cum,” she murmured, kissing mouthily at Bodhi’s skin. 

It didn’t take long at all. _It was explosive._ She cried out so loudly Cassian had to press a hand to her lips so not to cause concern to anyone outside of her bunk. There was nowhere to run between them, and it drove her insane. She honestly wouldn't have been able to breathe without Cassian's hands teasing up and down her sides, his voice in her ear; telling her how beautiful she was, how good she was to take them both, how perfect. Bodhi, eager to please as always, came immediately following because of his sense of accomplishment, the evidence from Jyn’s body splayed out against Cassian in front of him. 

When they both pulled out she didn’t let them get far, needing them as close as possible. Cassian cleaned them all up, hastily grabbing and undershirt off the floor to get the job done. They surrounded her again, petting, kissing, reassuring. Her body was soft and yielding, waiting for kisses and praise. It had never been this overwhelming before. She needed them both, their shy smiles, their gentle affection. 

She woke up the next morning and remembered it all. 

Mornings were good with her boys. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *covers face in hands* oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. 
> 
> It's Diego Luna. Homeboy's career was made on threesomes. It had to happen.

**Author's Note:**

> ROGUE ONE LEAKED. 
> 
> So, this is the first threesome I have ever written (shit is so scary). I turned into a scandalized southern lady, fanning myself and whispering "Oh my stars" at the shit that was coming out of my head. I know everyone was probably looking for a polyamorous equilateral relationship, but I think the appeal of both Bodhi and Cassian to Jyn are very different and this is how I see them hitting the sack, all three of them, in a way that was accurate to the characters. So this isn’t going to be your OT3, it y’all are wondering, but there will be more Bodhi, and especially more rebelcaptain, in the next installment. All as Bodhi planned. 
> 
> I'm trying to engage more in the fandom, so please, my tumblr is lyresandlasers and I love getting requests and prompts. This is vaguely inspired by "Flickers of Insight" by Emerald Embers (emeraldembers), another really great smutfic.


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